The Runkles' Road

Taxes

2012-01-29T00:23:00.000-05:00

Last year when we did our taxes we claimed the adoption tax credit. Actually it was the second year of doing that...we were just taking the rest of what we couldn't take the first year. The first year they asked for no documentation and gave us no trouble. The second year they held up our refund until we sent a bunch of documents and they took their good old time reviewing it. We did finally get our money, complete with $19.23 of interest since they took too long. (Never mind the fact that they don't pay any interest on the huge amounts they withhold all year long. But I digress.)

So a couple of days ago we get an "interest paid" form for that $19.23, which is taxable income. So, let me get this straight: they pay us interest because they were late giving us back our own money, and then they increase the amount we have to pay this year because of the interest they paid us for their screwup? In what world is that even remotely justifiable?!

And while I'm on my soapbox, shouldn't homeschool expenses be tax deductible? I mean, we're saving the government money by not sending our kids to their schools, AND we have to spend money that public school parents don't!

The only good news is the gigantic adoption tax credit we'll have again this year, for Rayanna's adoption. Let's hope they send our refund on time so we don't have to pay taxes on our tax credit.

Random Thoughts

2012-01-17T06:38:00.000-05:00

This post is about nothing and about everything. Just some thoughts I've had lately that I wanted to share. =)

TALKING WITH TABITHA
On Saturday, Tabitha and I had our "Time Out." Heath and I try to take each of the kids out one-on-one each month, alternating whether they go with Mom or Dad. So it was my turn with Tabitha. We went to Frederick and did some shopping. When I go out with either of the boys, we talk, but there are also times of quiet. Not so with my little girl. She kept up a (mostly one-sided) conversation for the entire 3 hours we were out. Here are some snippets of it:

As we're walking into Target:
"Tabitha, you need to stay with me and hold my hand, ok?"
"OK. Mom will you let go of my hand now?"

As we're walking out of Target to the car:
"Mom, is it like Chinese?"
"What?"
"Chinese!"
"Is WHAT like Chinese?"
"The doors!" (said in an exasperated what-is-your-problem-why-don't-you-know-what-I'm-talking-about-tone)
How do you even respond to that? I just don't know, so I said something to the effect of "hmmm."

During the entire drive, she started every thought with "Mom?" . . . As if I'm not the only one in the car; as if we're not already having a conversation. It's almost like it's the end of a sentence, rather than the beginning:
"Mom?"
"Yes?"
"What time is it?"
"2:15."
"Mom?"
"What?"
"I like my dress. Mom?"
"What?"
(while looking out the clear window to the bright, sunny sky) "Is it raining?"
"Do you see rain?"
"No."
"Do you see puddles?"
"No."
"Do you see clouds?"
"No."
"Do YOU think it's raining?"
"No."
"Then why did you ask?"
"I don't know. Mom?"
"What?"
"Is it my birthday?"
"No, not for another 4 months."
"OK. Mom?"
"Tabitha, you don't have to say "Mom" every time. I'm already listening. Just talk. I'm tired of saying "what" all the time."
"OK. Mom?"
silence
"Mom?"
silence
"Mom!
silence
"Never mind. Mom?"
"AAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH"

THE PINK AISLE

Since our "Time Out" was supposed to be about her and not me, I asked her what she wanted to look at while we were at Target. She chose toys of course, which is fine with me. I enjoy looking at Lego, educational toys, craft projects, and so forth. But, no. She saw it. She chose it, and there we went: The Pink Aisle. Up until this chapter of my life I have successfully avoided The Pink Aisle. I used to steer happily toward the "blue-er" areas of the stores, avoiding Barbie and Bratz and Hello Kitty and My Little Pony and all the rest. It's not the literal pinkness of the aisle that bothers me so much (though I don't particularly like pink). It's the obsession with glitz and glamour, fashion and fads.

But, into The Pink Aisle I followed my enraptured little four year old. She saw the mega boxed set of Disney Princess Barbies. She had to know each one's name. She saw those little Squinkie things (1/2-inch tall figures of every possible character that come inside a little clear ball and roll around in various machines). She had to examine every piece in the 100-piece display and know their names and know if the one in white was getting married and if that was her car. She had to admire the princess dress-up outfits and find out who each girl modelling in the picture was and if they were going to a birthday party. After what I felt like was an extremely long time to spend in one aisle, I tried to move on, but to no avail. We still had to look at the Littlest Pet Shop and the Ponies and the rest of the Pink stuff. Finally, we moved on. I picked out a toothbrush stand for the boys' bathroom and asked her to hold it for me while I picked out some washcloths. I guess I was taking too long, because I looked over at her, and she was sitting on the floor "pouring" something out of the toothbrush stand. She grinned up at me and said she was having a tea party.
"Do you want to have a tea party, Mom?"
"No, thanks."
"But Mom, EVERYONE is doing it!"

Yes. That's really what she said. Heaven help us when she's a teenager!

REFLECTION ON THE PRICE OF GROCERIES
I have this number stuck in my mind of shopping with my mom as a kid and having her tell me that she spent about $200 every other week to feed our family (8 people). I just spent significantly more than that on this ONE week's shopping for our family of 6, one of whom only weighs 23 pounds! I did buy a pack of pull-ups and some socks and cleaning supplies, but it was mostly food.

I buy generic. I buy in bulk. I use coupons (though not tonight). I use store loyalty cards. I look for sales. I buy plain and simple, nothing fancy. I choose the cheapest version of whatever I'm buying. I don't buy organic. I don't buy name brands. I don't (usually) make impulsive purchases. I stick to my list! I shop at Walmart for crying out loud! What is the deal!?!?

And the worst part is, by Wednesday they'll be complaining that there's nothing to eat.

HEAVEN
My final random thought is the only serious one. And, it's the most exciting one! I've been learning a lot about Heaven lately. Not just about the Heaven where deceased believers in Christ live right now, but Eternity . . . when God creates the New Earth, and we dwell with Him on it forever and ever.

I've had a LOT of Bible training throughout my life and have been a Christian for a long time. And yet . . . somehow I've had a very limited perspective of what Eternity will be.

I always knew God was going to make a New Earth, but I didn't really understand what that had to do with us since we'd be living in Heaven. It's only since reading Randy Alcorn's book, Heaven, and studying the topic in our current Sunday School class that I've realized just how physically real it will all be! I never thought we'd be sitting on clouds strumming harps or anything. But I guess I imagined everything to be very "spiritual" . . . in the literal sense of that word. In other words, I didn't imagine things would be really physical, even though I knew there'd be houses and food and such. But reading this book has given me a new appreciation and excitement about what eternity will be. It will be all the good parts of this physical earthly life, without any of the bad. We'll be able to actually physically hug our loved ones who will be there in their new, real bodies, not just floating around like ghosts. We'll eat and work and play and laugh and worship and serve, and for the first time all of that will be as it was meant to be: fulfilling, untouched by the frustration of the curse, full of joy, and lacking nothing. All of our desires will be satisfied as we meet Jesus our Savior face to face and spend the rest of eternity living, eating, working, playing, laughing, worshiping, and serving in His real and very physical presence.

Amen! Come, Lord Jesus!

“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” ~C.S. Lewis

Christmas Blessings

2012-01-01T10:19:00.000-05:00

We've had an eventful Christmas week! We were with Heath's extended family on Christmas Eve. Then on Christmas Day we had our own family time in the morning, went to church together, and then spent the rest of the day with Heath's immediate family.

the kids with Mommom & Granddad Runkles

The next morning we left for North Carolina to be with the Stuenzi side of the family at the beach. Just before leaving, we found out that my aunt Lisa, who's been struggling with cancer, had gone to the ER Christmas morning. While we were driving we found out more information and it looked pretty bad, like she might not even make it. My grandparents and all their kids had gone to the hospital in Charlotte to be with her, but the rest of the family (about 40 people) were still at the beach so we kept going. It was a scary time for everyone, wondering how things would turn out for Lisa. The next morning Lisa had surgery, and it went wonderfully! It was such a relief that it went well, and such a blessing that the family could be together, and many of them be with her during this time. We all live scattered all over the country, so having this happen at a time we were all coming together anyway turned out to be a blessing, even if it's not something you want to happen at Christmas! You can read her story at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/lisastuenzi. It's not over yet, and we certainly appreciate your prayer for her.

We all had a good time at the beach. It was full of the usual chaos, noise, fun, games, food, and fellowship. I'm so glad we got to go, but I sure am tired out from it all! We came home yesterday (New Year's Eve) and were in bed by 10:30. I normally love celebrating and counting down on New Year's Eve, but we were exhausted!

Rayanna's first beach experience (She wasn't too thrilled about the sand.)

Rayanna trying out Grandpa's glasses

Tabitha with Great Grandpa

Stacy, Tammy, and Debbie playing some strange late-night card game

As we end 2011 I'm so thankful for all the blessings God has given us and all the things He's brought us through. As we start 2012, I'm looking forward to a fresh start and a year full of new adventures. Happy New Year, everyone!

Successful Surgery

2011-12-22T16:43:00.000-05:00

Rayanna's clogged-tear-duct surgery went great today! It was very quick, and she handled everything well. A few tears about the anesthesia mask, and she woke up pretty upset, but overall she was quite a trooper! We have to do 2 oral medicines and eye drops for the next few days, but that should be it. Then her eyes should be clear and bright! Praise the Lord for an easy, successful surgery!

Pondering the Last 5 Months

2011-12-21T20:36:00.001-05:00

Today, on December 21st, Rayanna is 21 months old. On Christmas Day we'll have had her for 5 months! Since I'm sure I won't have time to post then (and since it's just me and a sleeping Rayanna home right now), I thought I'd write down some of the thoughts I've had lately . . .

. . . I think it's amazing how one little baby can bring so much fun and happiness to a family.

. . . I think it's quite a blessing that she has no hearing problems and is catching up very well developmentally. Whether a misdiagnosis or a miracle, we're so happy she's healthy!

. . . I think my perspective has changed enormously over the past 2 years. 2 years ago I would've thought the clogged-tear-duct surgery Rayanna's having tomorrow was a big deal and quite scary. Now I hardly even thought about it other than getting babysitters for the other kids!

. . . I think 4 children is the perfect number for me to have, and I feel like our family is complete now.

. . . I think it's surprising to find out how much I've missed having a baby and toddler! We've flown through about 18 months' worth of "stages" in 5 months' time. It's going so fast!

. . . I think it's precious how snuggling a sleepy baby can ~pause~ all of life's cares and demands. Holding her comforts me and fills me with such peace and contentment that I forget about everything else and just want to keep holding her forever.

. . . I think it's fun and exciting to see how much three big siblings can love their baby sister, each in their own unique way, but all of them so affectionate toward her.

. . . I think it's phenomenal how a child can be so completely bonded to her parents of only 5 months, and probably have no recollection of her life before she joined our family.

. . . I think it's astonishing how much we love we can feel for this precious little girl that 5 months ago we had never even met!

. . . I think it's unbelievable that we've only had her for 5 months! It seems so long ago that we were in China trying to get her to take a bottle, so long ago when a bottle was the only thing she'd eat, so long ago when she could only crawl, so long ago when we had no idea of the fun personality hidden inside that quiet little girl, so long ago that we were a not-yet-completed family of 5. It's only been 5 months, but it feels like she's always been in our family, always been a part of us.

. . . I think adoption is a beautiful and amazing experience. Of course, giving birth to children is beautiful and amazing too. No matter how our children come into our families, they certainly are a blessing from the Lord.

Our first day together

Our little barrel of fun

And Baby makes 6!

Who, ME?!?!?

2011-12-16T20:47:00.001-05:00

A couple of months ago I was asked by a lady at our church if I would consider speaking at our women's Christmas brunch. She had read my blog and thought I had something to share. As I read her email, I was already planning my response: "No way! You've got the wrong person! I could NEVER do that!" You see, I was the girl who would be physically sick the night before I had to give a speech in high school. I was the one who hardly talked in casual conversation, let alone in front of people! I've also been a very private person (until I started this blog anyway), and can share in writing much easier than by speaking. But when I got to the end of the email, she said, "Now before you say 'no,' would you at least pray about it?" So I was stuck. What was I going to do, refuse to pray about it? So I said I would pray, and I did. And I felt that God was leading me to say yes, and to share what He's been teaching me through all our ordeals with Tabitha. Never would I have imagined myself to volunteer for anything like that, but I was actually kind of excited to share!

Over the next several weeks as I put my thoughts together to share what God has been teaching me, I learned so much more! Preparing to speak was a real learning experience and a chance to grow closer to the Lord. When the day arrived I was indeed nervous, but not nearly as much as I expected to be. I'm really bad at estimates, but if I had to guess I'd say there were close to 100 women there, and I would've expected myself to at least be sick to my stomach if not pass out all together! But it went OK, and I wasn't nearly as terrified as I thought I'd be. I was really thankful for all the people praying for me and that God answered my request to survive the ordeal. =) I did survive. I'm really glad it's over! But I'm also glad I did it. God increased my trust in Him through it, and I've had a few women tell me that what I shared helped them in some way. I'm amazed that God would use a non-speaker, shy, flawed person like me in that way!

I was going to post the video here, but it won't work. So I guess if you want to see it you'll have to visit me in person. =)

Thanksgiving and "Christmas Tree Day"

2011-12-03T16:41:00.000-05:00

We had a very enjoyable Thanksgiving and so much to be thankful for! We had our traditional pumpkin pancakes for breakfast, and then made our "thankfulness pages". We started doing this when the boys were really little. We each decorate a piece of paper with pictures, words, poems, or whatever we want, to tell what we're thankful for that year, and then I save them all in a notebook. It's fun to re-read the old ones, like when Jesse was thankful for scissors and Ethan was thankful for the number 9. =) After a relaxing morning at home watching the parade and dog show, we went to Heath's grandmother's house for Thanksgiving dinner. We ate way too much delicious food, but it was a nice time visiting with the relatives on that side of the family.

Each year, for as long as I can remember, the day after Thanksgiving has been "Christmas Tree Day." When I was little that was how my family did it, and we've carried on the same tradition with our kids. This was Rayanna's first Christmas-Tree-Day experience of course. But it was kind of anti-climactic. She didn't really even care! The good news is she hasn't been attacking the tree ornaments like I thought she would. We had a lot of fun getting all the decorations up, and thankfully there was no Stink-bug Surprise awaiting us this year like there was last year. =)

I found a cute little advent plan online that we started December 1st. Each night we read a Bible passage or a book and do a little activity or craft. Then we open that day's door on our nativity calendar and take out the miniature ornament inside. And at the end everyone gets a piece of candy. The kids love the special routine, and I have to admit, I do too! Today we started making some Christmas treats, and of course I have Christmas music playing most of the day to set the mood. In those rare moments when it works and everyone's getting along and feeling the holiday cheer, it's delightful!

Now, if we could just get some snow . . .

Happy Birthday, Mom!

2011-12-03T16:21:00.000-05:00

My mom turned 55 last month. (Sorry if I'm not supposed to share that, Mom, but I don't think you'd mind.) =) Anyway, in honor of her 55 years and being the best mom we've ever had, the family all pitched in to send her on a special weekend getaway! The whole thing was a surprise; all she knew was to keep the weekend open. I flew out there (all by myself nonetheless), saw my family for a couple of hours, and then my sister Carrie and I kidnapped Mom and took her to the tiniest town ever: Cambridge, Nebraska. Population: 1,000.

We stayed at a the cute little bed and breakfast in town. The lady who ran it gave us the whole history of the house and the town, and cooked us some delicious meals! We had ordered the "quilting package", so during the day Saturday we went across the street to a cute little quilting shop called "Cottage Inspirations." We had our very own quilting class and each made a table runner for Christmas. It was really fun to have some time together and to do something creative. For me, the best part of the quilting project was having 6 straight hours to work on something with no one interrupting me! It was really great to have some time with my mom and sister, and I'm really glad we were able to do it. Here's a picture of us with our masterpieces!

Happy birthday, Mom! We love you. =)

Jungle Safari!

2011-11-12T13:30:00.000-05:00

No, I didn't actually go on a safari, but I did have a jungle-themed adventure! I've never attempted to do any type of creative decorating in our house. Ever. But the boys' room was in desperate need of repainting, and I thought it'd be fun to do something a little different. (I have to confess that Kelly's amazing decorating job in the girls' room inspired me quite a bit!) We also found a used bedroom set at a good price, and I was excited to get that since they had always had random furniture in their room. Their current favorite colors are orange (Jesse) and green (Ethan). While trying to figure out how to make that work, I found these cute comforters that had both colors.

That's when I decided to go with the jungle theme. I actually had a lot of fun painting all the animals.

Heath did all the green paint, and he built the awesome book shelves.

So, for the first time ever, our boys have a cohesively furnished room! Now . . . if we could just get them to keep it clean!!

6 Years Old!

2011-11-11T23:42:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm a little behind, but our baby boy is 6 now! Jesse's birthday was on Monday. He's growing up so fast! And there's so much about him to love . . . I love his sense of humor, love seeing him learn and grow, love the way he's becoming such a helpful and thoughtful kid. He's a cute little guy, and we love him so much. Happy Birthday, Jesse!

Michael

2011-11-03T21:27:00.001-04:00

This is my brother Michael. He's 27 and a Staff Sergeant in the Airforce. He works in EOD, which has caused my sons to give him the nickname, "Little Bomb Boy." Not sure how they came up with the "little" part since he's twice their size, but nonetheless the name has stuck.

Anyway, Michael deployed to Afghanistan last week. He'll be there about 6 months. I'm so proud of my little brother and the work he does. I'm not at all envious though! I like my safe little life here in rural America and have no desire to live in a tent in the desert or fight terrorists or dismantle bombs or anything of the sort. But thank goodness there are people who are willing to do all of that.

Michael's been to Iraq twice and both times has come home with nary a scratch. We're praying the same for this time! In human terms, Afghanistan (and especially the area he's in) is much more dangerous than Iraq. But I have to keep reminding myself that he's no less in God's hands now than he was then. Please join me in praying for his safety--physical, spiritual, emotional. And remember to thank the military families in your life!

Knights & Dragons

2011-10-29T23:54:00.001-04:00

Today we had a combined birthday celebration for Ethan and Jesse. It was a lot of fun! Since we're studying the Middle Ages, we decided to do a knight tournament as the theme. Heath was the king (and he did an awesome job with it)! And we had several young squires who were knighted for their brave and chivalrous deeds.

I even made a dragon cake! I've never attempted anything that complex before, but since I had step-by-step directions I decided to give it a shot. I was so impressed with how it turned out!

One unexpected addition to the day was SNOW! Since living in Maryland I have NEVER seen snow in October so I would've never thought to worry about it. But it snowed big, heavy flakes almost all day! Fortunately, it was warm enough that the roads didn't get too bad, and almost everyone braved the weather and came to the party. Our friends the Hills live in PA, so they just stayed the night rather than drive home through the snow (to their house without electricity). All in all, it's been a really good day!

You Live, You Learn

2011-10-22T21:07:00.001-04:00

Well, today we took a "field trip" that I planned a couple months ago. We're studying the Middle Ages right now, soon to be followed by the Renaissance period. I found out that Maryland has a Renaissance Festival . . . how perfect! The 3 younger kids were free, and an acquaintance was able to get us discounted tickets. So today, we drove to a town just outside of Annapolis to this festival. But it wasn't nearly as educational or family-friendly as I'd hoped. It was kind of like a giant outdoor bar with a costume party going on! Many people were dressed in attire of the era. Some costumes were beautiful; others were, well . . . strange to say the least. (Sorry I didn't get any pictures.)

We only went to one show because we were just there for a half a day, and a lot of the descriptions made them sound pretty raunchy. Most of the activities cost extra money so we didn't do them. BUT . . . the kids did get to ride a pony and play on a pirate-ship playground, and we got to see a jousting competition and eat some turkey legs. So, not a totally wasted day. =) The jousting was actually really cool and fairly educational, and the ponies were fun. I'm glad we went, but I don't think it's something we'll be doing as a "field trip" again!

8 Years Old!

2011-10-22T21:07:00.000-04:00

Ethan turned 8 yesterday! It's hard to believe we've had him for 80% of a decade, that in 10 years he'll be an adult, and that he's half way to getting his drivers license! It's amazing to see how he's been growing lately. First of all, he's up to my chin in height, and wears shoes only one size smaller than mine! But, it's not his physical growth that I'm most interested in. He's really been growing and maturing in his character this year. He's such a big helper with his little sister and with jobs around the house. He's having a much better attitude about school and doing really well with it. And he's old enough now that we can have a real conversation with him. It's really fun watching him grow!

Happy birthday, Ethan! We love you!

Welcome, Caleb!!!

2011-10-07T22:44:00.000-04:00

OK, so I know this blog is supposed to be about OUR family, but I have some news that's too exciting not to share! Our good friends from college just had their first baby today! They've been waiting many years for him, and we are so excited for them and so thankful that God has answered this prayer. His name is Caleb. Isn't he a cutie?!

Congratulations, Jen and Joel. We love you guys!

Random Updates

2011-10-07T11:54:00.000-04:00

Since my last post, here's what's been happening:

Last Monday I took Tabitha to the Johns Hopkins cleft clinic. She has what's called venopharyngeal insufficiency. The part of the throat that's supposed to close off when we speak does not, which is why she has a nasally sounding voice. So they recommend a P-flap surgery to repair that. It's not urgent, so we're going to research it a bit and probably end up doing that next summer. Oh goodie.

Last Tuesday I took Rayanna to the opthamologist for her clogged tear duct. The doctor said that's definitely what it is, and since she's over a year old it's unlikely that it would resolve itself. It'll require a quick, 10-minute surgery to fix it. The earliest they can get us in for that is December 22nd though! It doesn't do any damage, but it is annoying for her to always have her eyes goopy and tear-filled. This week she had her 18-month check up. She was none to happy about the shots, but other than that things are good. She's gained 2 pounds in 2 months! And she's continuing to make good progress in every area of development.

Last Wednesday Ethan had an orthodontist appointment. He had several interesting molds made of his teeth, plus pictures and x-rays. I thought it was kind of cool actually. He'll be getting a retainer soon to fix his underbite. Depending on how that goes he may need further work done.

Sometimes I wonder how we manage to get ANY school done with all these appointments!

And, just in case Jesse felt left out, he's sick today! Just a fever so far; hopefully it doesn't turn into anything worse.

I have to say the most precious moment of the past week was when I looked out on the front porch and saw this:

The two kids who fight the most, the boy who hates to read, in this completely un-coerced, un-staged, spontaneous moment. That's the type of thing that makes it all worth it!

MY Baby

2011-09-25T16:28:00.001-04:00

OK, so I know you're not supposed to be glad when your children cry. But this was special. . . today was the first time Rayanna cried when I handed her over to the nursery worker at church! She knows I'm her mommy!!! Never have a child's tears made me feel so happy! (In case you're worried, she got over it very fast and proceeded to be the happiest baby in the nursery. So don't feel bad for her or anything!) =)

Today's also the 2-month anniversary of Gotcha Day. It was two months ago we first met our beautiful baby.

The Boys

2011-09-14T21:56:00.000-04:00

Our boys have some very different mile stones going on in their lives than the girls do. Thankfully, no medical issues (though Ethan will be needing some orthodontic work soon, which I'm sure will be an adventure). They've started this new school year with a bang! We're in our second week of school, and it's gone a lot better than expected so far! They've had mostly good attitudes, and (other than this afternoon) not as much fighting as had been going on during the summer. I guess if I work them hard enough they don't have time and energy for fighting! =)

We've also started some classes and activities that I'm really excited about. We rejoined CBS (Community Bible Study). This is a wonderful in-depth Bible study program with classes for the moms and the kids. Ethan's age even studies the same things as the adults, just at a different level. Ethan was very anxious about going, but once he got there he had a blast and can't wait to go back! Jesse and Tabitha liked their class as well, and Rayanna had the whole nursery to herself this week!

We also joined a homeschool soccer group. It's just once a week, which is perfect for us. Again, Ethan didn't want to go but ended up loving it! Jesse had a great time too, and I think they'll both really enjoy making friends on their teams. I know that PE is probably my weakest point as a homeschool teacher, so I'm really glad to have found something like this. I think it'll be some good fellowship for us all, as well as the exercise benefit.

Jesse also started Kindermusik, which I'm thrilled about. As a piano teacher obviously music education is important to me, and I just love the Kindermusik program for young kids! Jesse's been looking forward to it for the last couple years when Ethan was in it, and now it's finally his turn!

And, last but not least, Awana has started up again (not at our church, but the same one we've been going to the past two years). Ethan's in his last year of Sparks, Jesse's in his first year of Sparks, and Tabitha has started Cubbies. It's so great to hear them memorizing God's Word and see all that they're learning.

I think we have just the right balance. I don't like to be too busy as a family, but I also know that if we don't have enough going on we get stir-crazy. So far I think this feels just right. I'm excited for this new school year and all that the kids are and will be doing! And I'm very glad that as a homeschool mom I get to be involved in so many parts of their lives. They're growing up so fast, and I don't want to miss any of it!

The Girls

2011-09-14T21:44:00.000-04:00

New accomplishments for both of our girls this week!

Yesterday, Rayanna had a developmental evaluation and an audiological evaluation at Kennedy Krieger. The audiology tests showed almost everything normal. One test (which I think measured the movement of the ear drum) was slightly different than it should've been. (It made a broad graph rather than a pointed one, whatever that means.) He said this could be due to the ear infection she had a few weeks ago, so he wants to retest her in 3 months. Other than that everything is normal, and her hearing responses were within the normal range. So she's definitely hearing! Praise the Lord!

Rayanna's developmental tests showed her to be around a 9-month level, meaning a 50% delay. This doctor also wants to see her again in 3 months to see if she's catching up. Only then would she be able to determine if there's any disability or if it's just a delay due to lack of stimulation. Our guess is that her delays are due to lying in a crib staring at the ceiling for her first 16 months of life! We really don't think there's anything wrong with her that love and attention won't fix. And, as if to prove what she can do, Rayanna took her first steps this afternoon! Two steps all by herself, and then she stayed there without falling over! We're so proud of her. :)

Tabitha, too, had a major accomplishment this week. Heath was giving her a bath yesterday, when she said "Daddy, there's poopy coming!" So he put her on the toilet, and sure enough . . . success!!!!! That's exciting for any young child's parents, but for a child who is 4 years old and not guaranteed to ever have bowel control???? That's REALLY exciting! Now, of course this could be a coincidence, just a fluke, so I'm trying not to get too excited. BUT, it could also be a major answer to prayer and evidence that she will indeed have full bowel control one day! Please continue to pray with us that that will be the case!

One more medical thing (as if there weren't enough). Last week I took Tabitha to the ENT to check her hearing (all normal), her nose bleeds (nothing too concerning), and her nasal speech. This doctor thinks that her nasal speech is caused by velopharyngeal dysfunction.He wants us to go to the cleft clinic at Johns Hopkins for further evaluation and possible surgery. Hooray. I can't wait. I find my reaction almost comical though. Looking back, I probably should've been a little upset or worried getting news like that. And before all we've been through with Tabitha I probably would have been. But it didn't even phase me! I almost expected it. Poor Tabitha . . . as if she hadn't had enough to deal with already! That appointment's on the 26th, and Rayanna's opthamology appointment is on the 27th. And that should be it for this month!

Bundles

2011-09-10T20:12:00.000-04:00

I recently read Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas. He makes a point about trials coming in "bundles," many problems happening all at once. I liked what he said so much that I wanted to share a few paragraphs here. I've often noticed that when it rains it pours, but I've never thought of it the way he explains it before.

We have only one way to become mature and complete in God: We must develop the difficult but crucial discipline of perseverance. Jesus said that only through perseverance do we bear fruit: "The seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop." (Luke 8:15)

Paul says that character grows out of learning to persevere through many trials (Romans 5:3-4). James tells us that we should consider it "pure joy" when we "face trials of many kinds (that is, bundles), because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4). Without perseverance, James tells us, we remain immature and incomplete, half-baked Christians, if you will. . . .

There's only one way to develop perseverance: We have to surrender to God as we feel pushed past the human breaking point. We have to reach the threshold of exhaustion, [been there done that], and then get pushed even further [been there too]. One trial can help us deal with fear. Two trials can lead to wisdom. But perseverance? That takes a bundle of difficulties. All of which means that parenting extremely demanding children feeds a spiritual need in our soul--to participate in the crucial discipline of perseverance on which our fruitfulness as believers depends.

Medical Details

2011-09-04T15:07:00.000-04:00

Well, for most of you reading this, the summary will be enough: we're home, and so far things are going better than expected with the bowel issues. My emotional state is improved (in large part due to my supportive husband), and so far no major catastrophes to speak of.

For anyone wanting the (not so pretty) details, keep reading:

Dr. Levitt expected that after surgery Tabitha would be hypermotile . . . meaning the bowels move too fast. Usually for a few weeks patients are going too often, rather than not often enough. For some reason, Tabitha is having the opposite problem.

We have learned that constipation is a major enemy of people with colorectal malformations. Since the muscles don't work right, the person gets constipated. Constipation stretches out the colon and makes it work even less effectively, thus leading to worse constipation, and on it goes. So we're supposed to be very careful not to let Tabitha get constipated (which is part of the reason we do enemas). BUT, in this case, Dr. Levitt said that having constipation rather than diarrhea right after this surgery, is a good sign. Constipation is much easier to control than is its opposite. So this could bode well for the future.

However, right now our main concern is getting her UNconstipated. The enemas haven't been thoroughly working, though today there's been some progress. Once that's taken care of, it could all change. We don't know which battle we'll be fighting (hypermotility or hypomotility), or if she'll be able to regulate just by diet or will need enemas for life. We are to continue enemas for the next couple of months while her digestive system learns how to function again after having the summer off. Then we can stop the enemas and see if we can regulate her enough (with diet and possibly laxatives) to achieve potty training potential. If that doesn't work out and it looks like she'll need enemas for life, they recommend getting a Malone, which is a valve through the tummy which makes it so that she can give herself the enemas without needing assistance. But we are praying that she will be able to have bowel control and not need any of that.

In about a month, we'll get a kidney ultrasound done and sent to Dr. Alam so that he can plan the next step for her kidneys. She'll definitely need one more surgery, but when and what exactly needs to happen are still to be determined. It appears that (apart from a miracle) she'll always need to use a catheter. That isn't as big of a deal as the bowel issues, so I'm not too upset about that.

Tabitha is doing really well and healing fast. She hasn't had any pain medicine since the day after the surgery, which I find amazing. I think I'd be on morphine and bed rest for weeks! She's got a big long incision on her belly, but it doesn't seem to slow her down at all. In another 10 days she'll be allowed to swim again, which I know will make her very happy. And she's also very happy to be able to eat all the things she couldn't have with the ileostomy. She's been through a lot, but never gives up. She's a little trooper!

My Goal

2011-09-02T10:25:00.002-04:00

This song meant a lot to me when we were waiting to adopt Tabitha. Now its message returns as I wait to make it through all these medical issues. My goal is that the attitude of my heart would match the lyrics of this song and that I would just take one step at a time in obedience, even when God's plans don't match my own.

Update on Tabitha

2011-09-01T22:42:00.000-04:00

Tabitha's recovery has gone well. She's eating real food now, and it's coming out in the right place. =) So I guess that's progress. :) Heath's been with her the whole time, with the rest of us just coming to visit. I was going to spend the night with her tonight, but since I was having a meltdown Heath offered to stay again. Why the meltdown? I'm just really worried about what's coming up. For the next couple months it appears we have to do enemas (hour-long process every day), strictly monitor her diet, go back to cathing every 4 hours, and STILL be dealing with messy diapers on a 4-year-old. I don't even understand most of what's going on in her body, and I know it's temporary, but it feels like a step backwards. I had been excited about starting our new homeschooling year when we get back, even with a new toddler in the house. But now we get to add all this to our school year and outside activities, and I just don't see that working out so well. Please pray that God somehow gives me the emotional energy to handle all of this.

Yesterday when we went to visit Tabitha she was feeling pretty well, but extremely emotional. I think the medication is really affecting her head. We brought her a big balloon, and she thanked us by demanding that Ethan give it to her now! And she bit the head off anyone who touched her toys or balloons. She was pretty mean and feisty the whole time, but then she got very sensitive. The nurse came to check on her and asked if she needed anything. When the nurse asked her if she wanted to get up, she said she'd do it tomorrow. The nurse asked her to "pinky promise" and held out her pinky. I told Tabitha to give her her pinky, and she looked down at her box of markers and said, "But I don't have pink!" We all laughed at her cute misunderstanding. But then Tabitha got all teary-eyed and said "You hurt my feelings. You laughed at me." Her emotions are fluctuating quite drastically right now!

The other kids have had fun at the hotel this week. Rayanna absolutely loves the pool! She has no fear, constantly dunks her head in the water and tries to get away from me and swim on her own! The boys are having a blast there too. We also went to the Cincinnati Museum Center today. They have 3 great museums there, and we enjoyed them all! I've also really enjoyed having my mom and my friend Kelly here for the extra help and support. I'm not sure that Heath and Tabitha have had all that much fun, but they've accomplished what we came for. :)

Looking forward to going home, but all in all it's been a good trip.

Tabitha's Surgery

2011-08-30T20:41:00.001-04:00

I'm writing from Cincinnati (well, actually Florence, Kentucky.) Tabitha's surgery was this morning, and all went well! Her ostomy bag is GONE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Can you tell I'm happy about that?) The surgery went smoothly, and her wake up was much better than last time. Last time she woke up very angry; this time she was calm and not upset. She's pretty grumpy and really wants to eat, but other than that she's doing well. She's already started watching Dora DVDs, so all is well as long as no one gets between her and the TV! :) Heath and I are taking turns staying with her and staying at the hotel with the other kids. My mom is here helping us too, which has been great! Plus my friend Kelly and her boys are here, so everyone has a playmate.

Tabitha still has the catheter through her abdomen. The urologist wants to keep it there until we're sure that normal cathing will work OK. As long as all goes well, they'll take that out before we go home, and we'll be back to cathing every 4 hours. My biggest concern right now is figuring out the bowel stuff. Before her operation in May she had no chance of bowel control; now she has a chance for it, but we just have to see what happens. They can't tell us for sure whether or not she'll have it. For the next few weeks she'll probably have very bad diarrhea because of the colon not having worked all summer. After that things should settle down, and we should start to figure out what we're dealing with. Dr. Levitt thinks she may be hypermotile (colon moves too fast). This is not what I wanted to hear. That is very hard to regulate, and we'll have a lot to learn. No matter what, she'll always have issues with constipation and/or diarrhea because of the way her colon works. So we will always be dealing with some combination of laxatives or enemas or strict diet to try to keep things working right. And it's not something that's figured out once and for all. So I'm pretty sure there's going to be a lot of continued frustration on my part trying to deal with it all. Once we get her system regulated, only then could we even hope to see if she'll be able to potty train.

So while we're figuring that all out we could very well be back to where we were when we first adopted her . . . constant poopy diapers. Only now she's 4 instead of 2, so it'll be that much worse. You know, I was sure once we got rid of the ostomy I'd never complain about anything else again, and I am indeed THRILLED to be rid of it!! But please pray for me over these next few weeks...months....years. I do not like dealing with any of this, and sometimes it just feels like a never-ending nightmare. Fortunately, Tabitha usually takes it all in stride and isn't bothered too much.

We'll be here for the rest of the week. We're hoping she'll be discharged on Friday, but we'll see. Meanwhile we're very thankful that her recovery is going well, and for the fun stay we're having. Hopefully all continues to go well. I'll post again if we have anything new to share!

Tabitha in the pre-op room

Tabitha watching Dora after surgery

Lisa

2011-08-26T13:12:00.000-04:00

Please be in prayer for my aunt Lisa. She's my dad's sister, only 45 years old, and she was recently diagnosed with cancer. She'll be having surgery on Monday the 29th, the day before Tabitha's. You can visit her caring bridge site by clicking here. Thanks for praying!

One Month

2011-08-25T18:23:00.000-04:00

It was one month ago today that we met our little Rayanna for the first time, and it's been 3 weeks since we arrived home with her. On the one hand it's gone really fast! But on the other I feel like she's always been with us. She has eased her way into our family with very little fanfare!

HOWEVER, the honey moon is definitely over. While I'd still call her an easy baby, she's starting to show us she's not all flowers and bubbles. For one thing, she has not taken a real nap this entire week! A couple of days were my fault (letting her fall asleep in the car and trying to skip her pre-nap bottle), but the other two days there's no excuse! The last few nights she's also waken up once or twice. She goes back to sleep fairly easily, but after such a perfect start it's not fun to have that happening! She's also been more grumpy. While we can now put her down without hysteria, she's taken to the more usual toddler behavior of whining and fussing when she wants to be picked up. She also would hardly eat today (except her bottle) and got very mad and loud when I tried to get her to eat her baby food! But, nonetheless, she's usually still pretty content and happy. It's just that I've had my bubble burst, finding out she's not perfect. ;-)

She's continuing to become more interactive, and she's working hard on all her motor skills too. She's pulling up and cruising all around now. She's also starting to get inquisitive, which means I need to work on some more serious child proofing! Until now she hasn't seemed curious about anything, but now she's starting to get into things. Even though it's a hassle, I'm so glad to see her interested in her environment and learning new things!

She really is a precious little girl and a delight for all of us. Here's a picture of our little sweetie, one month after gotcha day. (I tried to catch a smile, but it wasn't happening today.)

Back Online! (And slightly shaken!)

2011-08-23T19:19:00.000-04:00

Well, we finally have our cell phone and internet service back! Turns out a tower was hit by lightning during the big storm Thursday. I really realized how dependent I am on it when I couldn't use it for almost 6 days! I couldn't contact anyone at all, for anything! Couldn't pay bills, look up information, or even look at my calendar! I've always been one to value "real" things and want a hard copy of everything. Only recently did I surrender to an all-online calendar and email storage. Perhaps I should go back to my old ways!

Today we had (hopefully) our final ostomy problem. We were at Borders perusing their going-out-of-business sales when Tabitha announced that her bag was leaking. I figured she meant urine, since the valve occasionally opens by accident. But, no. Much to my dismay it was the OTHER bag. Somehow the velcro closure had decided to open of its own accord, and there was liquidy poop all over the inside of her dress and running down her legs. Fortunately we made it to the bathroom without an audience and were able to clean her up well enough to finish our errands. It was my first shopping outing with all 4 kids, and it would've been smooth sailing if not for that. GROSS. Hallelujah....we only have a week left!

Anyway, the "slightly shaken" part of the title comes from having my first-ever experience with an earth quake! Actually, I guess there was supposedly one here last year, but it was much smaller and I was asleep and didn't know anything about it. This time was quite different! Heath's mom (Stephanie) was here, and we were in the living room with the kids when the house started shaking! My first thought was a wind storm, but it was perfectly sunny weather outside. While it kept shaking, my mind raced through all the possibilities I could think of, but came up with nothing! It only lasted about 3 seconds, but it was the strangest feeling. Stephanie figured out what it was; otherwise I don't know if I would've ever thought of that. I mean, this is Maryland, not California! It turns out (if you haven't seen the news) that there was a 5.8 quake in Virginia, and it could be felt from New York to South Carolina! Yikes!

In less dramatic news (but just as exciting to me), I have our school planning pretty much finished. When we get back from Cincinnati we'll be ready to go! Ethan starts 2nd grade, Jesse starts kindergarten, Tabitha starts preschool, and Rayanna hopefully continues to be an easy baby. =) I've got my schedule all made up. It'll be great, as long as everyone cooperates and I don't plan on having any free time. Ai yi yi. It'll all be worth it in the end, right fellow home schooling moms? =)

Our Cincinnati trip is just days away. Besides the obvious excitement of getting rid of the ileostomy, I'm excited to see a couple of friends and my mom too! It should be a good trip. I had been worried about taking a trip so soon after getting back from China, but I think it'll be fine. We've had lots of wonderful meals brought by families from church, Rayanna's been a pretty good baby, and this transition has gone much easier than expected. I think this first family "vacation" might turn out to actually be fun! =)

Offline!

2011-08-21T17:32:00.000-04:00

Sorry if I haven't been responding to emails and phone calls. Since Thursday afternoon we have had no internet or cell phone service at our house. And since we don't have a landline phone that leaves us pretty cut off! Assuming a Sprint tower went down or something but no idea when it'll be back. Currently writing from McDonald's and in a hurry.

So if anyone needs to reach us urgently . . . I don't know . . . send a telegram????

=)

Doctors, Doctors, Doctors!

2011-08-16T14:28:00.000-04:00

Before adopting kids I think our only visits to doctors were for shots. (Well, that and the occasional need for dermabond and/or staples in our boys' heads.) Since Tabitha joined our family we've become very familiar with doctors and hospitals though! Rayanna seems that she won't need nearly as much medical help, and yet . . . we'll still have seven doctor appointments in her first two months home, not counting Tabitha's surgery!

Today I took the girls to get their hearing checked. Babies in this country have their hearing checked at birth, but that wasn't done for our girls (as far as we know), and we have reasons to question hearing for both of them: Tabitha because of her speech delays, and Rayanna because of the unexplained doctors' comments on her referral. So I made an appointment for them both at the ENT for a hearing check. I thought we were actually seeing the ENT, but I guess I mistakenly scheduled us only for the audiologist's hearing check. It was really quite useless. Tabitha was too shy to cooperate in the sound booth, and Rayanna just didn't react to much. The doctor doesn't want to say that she has a hearing loss though, because it could just be that her developmental stage isn't where it needs to be for her to react as expected. (The test they do on newborns can't be done on toddlers because they're too active; the child must be perfectly still and quiet while the device is put into their ears and the test is run.)

So, here's the plan: the week we get back from Tabitha's surgery in Cincinnati, she'll go back and see the ENT this time. He'll clean her ears and check her palate and nose, since she has sounded congested for a couple of months and always has a nasally voice. Then, at the same visit, we'll go back to the audiologist and hopefully she'll cooperate with the hearing test this time. For Rayanna, we're going to go to the Kennedy Krieger Institute, where they can do a test that actually monitors the brain waves to see if the brain is registering sound. No cooperation required! (They also have an international adoption clinic that will do a developmental evaluation and some other things, so hopefully we can do all of that at once.)

I also just called the opthamologist about Rayanna's possible tear duct problems. The earliest they can get us in is September 27th, and the visit will take 2 hours!! I can only imagine what "fun" things they have planned for her. =( Any volunteers for babysitting during these appointments will gladly be accepted! Dragging four kids to doctor appointments is torture for all of us, the doctor included! (Fortunately, I was able to drop the boys off with Heath at work today so they were spared the agony.)

On the 28th we leave for Cincinnati to get rid of those awful bags! Hooray! I am SO excited to be done with all that, and I know Tabitha is too! She seems to have a small infection around the hole where one of the tubes goes through her skin into her bladder. We've contacted her urologist about it; just pray it doesn't get any worse. I'd like to make it these last 2 weeks without any further complications!

I'm actually looking forward to our trip out there. We're all going so that we can be together as much as possible. We'll switch off who stays with Tabitha and who's with the other kids, and we'll do some fun stuff in the area like we did when we were out there in February. Also, my friend Kelly is coming from Illinois, and it'll be great to see her and her kids! And my mom might even come too! So we'll turn it into a big party for everyone. =)

I'm hoping 2011 will be the last year of constant medical issues. I know there will always be some things to deal with, especially for Tabitha, but I really hope it slows down! Fortunately, none of this is life threatening, and all the kids are in very good health. We're quite thankful for that!

The Things That Really Matter

2011-08-14T14:02:00.000-04:00

This morning at church I feel like I really "met with God." I hate to admit it, but even though I've been a Christian for almost 20 years and have gone to church pretty much every week, I don't always feel like I'm spiritually involved. Sometimes I just go because that's what we do, you know? I worship, I learn, I fellowship, but I don't always feel like much is happening on a spiritual level. But every now and then I feel like God really does something supernatural in my life that wouldn't have happened on my own without the body of Christ. Today was one such day.

Of course it was a fun and exciting day since everyone was eager to meet Rayanna! I think she was a little overwhelmed by it all, but it was very exciting for so many people who'd been praying for her and helping us with the adoption process to finally get to meet her! The service was a prayer and worship service, and we were led through the "ACTS" prayer: Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication. There was so much I needed to talk to God about in each of those areas.

God is so worthy of our adoration! He is the only One who never changes, who is always loving, always holy, always perfectly and completely GOD. And He is also the only One who really knows me and who loves me perfectly and completely. Why do I take Him for granted so often?

There's always so much to confess to God. It seems that no matter how many times I've confessed before, each day brings new opportunities for further confession. Since we are also to confess sins to each other, I'll go ahead and share one of my main struggles. I really struggle with anger as a parent. I find myself yelling and losing my temper with my kids all the time, and failing to love them as I should. One day this week was especially bad, and I felt like I couldn't even confess because I had failed so many times and repented so many times, but I just keep failing over and over again. I kind of gave up on myself for a couple of days, thinking it would never change. But this morning at church I felt God's grace reaching out to me once again. I was reminded that I am RIGHTEOUS in His sight by the blood of Christ!! Is there anything more amazing? Why doesn't He get tired of me? Why doesn't He give up on me? Why should I be forgiven, when I've treated His forgiveness so lightly? I can see why He forgives a new believer, who has only just realized their sin and need for a Savior. But to forgive someone who's known Him so long and yet continues to fail over and over and over?! That is truly AMAZING grace. We sang "Our God" at the end of the service, and I was reminded that His power will indeed triumph over my sin. I have the power of the God of the universe inside of me! "And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us? And if our God is with us, then what could stand against us? Our God is greater, our God is stronger; God, You are higher than any other. Our God is healer, awesome in power, our God, our God." AMEN.

Adoration....Confession.....Thanksgiving. There's so much to be thankful for. Our biggest rejoicing right now is of course over our new little Rayanna. She is an absolute joy, and it has been amazing to see God's hand in bringing her into our family! I tend to focus on what's wrong in life, knowing that pretty much everything could be better than it is. But I need to take time to just thank God for the infinite blessings He has filled my life with.

And finally, Supplication. The one is where we (I) usually spend the majority of our prayer time, right? Rather than focusing on personal desires our pastor had us focus on asking for healing and the needs of the hurting. I prayed for physical healing for my aunt Lisa, who has been diagnosed with what sounds like a very bad type of cancer. She's only a decade or so older than I am, and we're all taking this news pretty hard. I prayed for spiritual healing for a couple of people close to me. And then we were to pray for the hurting throughout the world. The hungry, the homeless, sick people, military families, and so forth. I thought of my brother who deploys to Afghanistan next month. I thought of the poor people who struggle even to find food. I thought of the many orphans throughout the world. I couldn't hold back the tears when I pictured those rows of babies in cribs at Rayanna's orphanage. Will they ever have a family? Will they have someone tell them how precious they are and how much they matter? Will anyone tell them about Jesus' love for them?

This very special time of prayer and worship today, focused on others instead of self, forced me to put my petty little complaints in perspective; to quit my whining about what's wrong with "poor Erin's world" and focus instead on how I can pray for and serve those who are in desperate need; to stop complaining and sulking about my problems and instead praise God for who He is and the absolutely wonderful things He has done for me. It realigned my thinking off of self and onto the things that really matter.

I really feel like God did a work in my heart today, and I'm eager to serve and praise Him this week with a renewed spirit and a heart of joy. Thank You, Lord, for Your unfailing love and for Your mercies that are new every morning. I love You.

Rayanna's Accomplishments

2011-08-13T10:32:00.000-04:00

Rayanna had a very productive day yesterday! She crawled all around the living room for the first time, pulled up on the coffee table to stand several times, and even willingly ate baby food!!! She's on a roll! She's eating much better, sleeping very well, and really coming to life!

Her ear infection is better, and her eyes are a lot better than they were but still tearing a lot. The pediatrician wants us to see an opthamologist to see if she has a clogged tear duct, which would mean a quick surgery to fix it. And Tuesday is our appointment with the audiologist/ENT to check her (and Tabitha's) hearing; I think we'll also do her blood draw that day for all the lab work to check for a million and one things. By then we'll be done with the antibiotics and eye drops (which she HATES), and have nothing else until the next round of shots.

Here's a video of her laughing and crawling. (Don't mind the dog.)

Our First Days Home

2011-08-08T16:12:00.000-04:00

Well, so far this adoption has been 150% easier than the last one! I don't know if it's the difference in the girls' ages, Tabitha's medical needs, their personalities, or just my frame of mind, but this time has been a piece of cake compared to the last one!

The big kids love their new little sister. They all want to hold her and help feed her. Tabitha's a little aggressive with her love, but other than that they're all getting along well. Ethan's old enough that he can really help a lot, and even Jesse is great at entertaining her and playing with her. We've had a few successful times of getting her to sit on the floor without being held! Once Heath and I are out of sight she'll stop crying and be content for quite awhile. I think she's very used to being alone in a crib, so once she can't see us she goes back to the complacency of her early life. She's coming more and more alive though! Last night I was tickling her and she just laughed and laughed. It was so cute!

Ever since we got her, her eyes have been goopy, and the last couple of days she's had a fever. Her doctor exam was today, and we found out that she has conjunctivitis (pink eye) and an ear infection! Not to mention she's getting her molars. With all of that, plus the huge changes she's undergone, it's unbelievable to me how good she's been. She does get fussy, but nothing like I'd expect from a baby who's dealing with so much! I can't wait to see what she's like once she's settled in here and healthy.

She's still not eating much. I'm hoping once she feels better she'll have more of an appetite. And we'll start working more seriously on getting her to eat solids. She still refuses anything but her bottle, and even that she doesn't want very often. Hopefully it's just from the sickness and stress, and she'll improve quickly soon.

Wednesday we go back to the doctor to check her tuberculosis test (PPD). I was ready for a lot of screaming when the nurse pricked her, but she barely fussed! She cried a whole lot more than that when I put her in her car seat! On Wednesday, if her fever's gone and eyes/ears are better, she'll also be getting shots. I hate to do that to her when she's just learning to trust us! But since the PPD didn't bother her much I'm hoping the shots won't be a big deal for her either.

Heath's going back to work tomorrow, so the real test begins. How to manage 4 kids?!?!? But I'm not terribly worried since things have been going so well. Honestly, I'm more worried about having to go back to managing Tabitha's ostomy and urine bags! It's been SUCH a nice break from that while we were in China and then these few days while Heath's been home. But I guess reality is about to come back, and I need to prepare myself. At least it's only for 3 more weeks!!

I feel so incredibly blessed today. Four beautiful children, the world's greatest husband, a beautiful home, wonderful friends, salvation by God's grace, and so many other things as well. These past couple years (with Tabitha's issues) have been extremely difficult for me, but I feel like we're starting a new chapter of life, and it's gonna be a good one!

Home Sweet Home!

2011-08-04T21:42:00.000-04:00

We've made it safely home and are now a family of six! We got home around 1am last night (Thursday morning). I can't decide which was worse . . . the 48-hour trip and spending the night in the airport on the way there, or the 28-hour trip home with a "lap baby" and not feeling well. I got a cold the last couple of days in China, and that airplane air is horrible! Plus, when you're holding a baby and trying not to wake her up, it is VERY difficult to get comfortable! I thought I would go crazy several times and was so tired I was physically weak and had to have Heath carry Rayanna lest I drop her! We also had to claim and recheck our luggage at both layovers which just added to the fun. But the long flight on the way home did have TVs for every seat with hundreds of selections, so that helped the time pass. It was 3 hours from Guangzhou to Beijing, 13+ hours from Beijing to Newark, and then a 5-hour layover! Our final 1-hour flight from Newark to BWI was delayed, but fortunately they were able to switch us to a flight to DC instead, so we got home about the same time. However, our bags went to Baltimore, and we are still waiting for them as of 9:00 pm Thursday. If we ever go to China again we are flying DIRECT, and maybe even first class. At this point I think it would be worth every penny!!!

Heath's dad was nice enough to pick us up and drop us off at our house so we could sleep before getting our kids. We dragged ourselves inside. I noticed the boys' light was on so we went to turn it off and saw a note on the floor outside the girls' room: "Beware! Pink Inside! Welcome Home! Love, Kelly et al" We opened the door and were absolutely astonished! Our dear friend Kelly Hills had painted and decorated the girls' room! She'd asked me awhile back if we were going to paint it since it was still blue from when the boys had it. I said I'd like to, but I never got around to it. And when Kelly paints, she means business! It is absolutely gorgeous!!! She even made curtains and added little accessories around the room. I got all teary eyed standing there admiring it and knowing how much work she put into it. What a wonderful surprise. Today whenever I walked in there I just felt so cheerful! It's really, really awesome. Kelly, you are truly an amazing friend.

After this great surprise we then attempted to go to sleep. But Rayanna lost a bit of her "perfect baby" status last night. She would not sleep. She just screamed! And this wasn't her sad/scared cry, it was angry! Didn't she realize how absolutely exhausted we were and that anyone in their right mind would simply pass out in bed at the first opportunity?!?! At 2:00 Heath took her into the other room, and we were going to take shifts staying up with her so we could each get some sleep. But, being the wonderful guy that he is, he never woke me. So I slept from 2-10, and Heath and Rayanna slept from about 5-10. I'm really hoping that's just jet lag and not a new problem!

Once we were all awake we went to pick up the kids. They had a great time with Heath's parents! Mom & Dad, thanks so much for keeping them for us!! Everyone enjoyed meeting Rayanna (though she's been really crabby today due to her lack of sleep). It was so good to see them after so long. It was a very nice break, especially from the medical stuff, and I felt truly refreshed and excited to see them again. We loaded up their truckloads of stuff and the dog and headed home. The older kids have all been excited to hold Rayanna. Tabitha's a bit vigorous in the attention she gives her, but everyone really likes her. I think the fact that she's more of a baby than a toddler will make this transition a lot easier than the last one. She can't really do anything to make anyone mad yet! And she certainly isn't going to dominate the household like another little girl did a couple years back! ;-)

We got some groceries, unpacked a little, and played outside. It was so nice out this evening! (Either that, or I just got used to southern China humidity and anything feels good compared to that!) Now the kids are all in bed, and Heath and I are just waiting for our luggage.

Timeline results:

From referral to meeting Rayanna: 5 months and 4 days

Entire adoption start to finish: 1 year, 4 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days

I'm so thankful for each of you who prayed for us, encouraged us, supported us financially, or helped in any other way. We appreciate all of you! God has truly blessed us with four beautiful children, and a wonderful trip to China. Safety, financial provision, health, joy . . . so many blessings that I know I don't deserve. Thank you, Lord, for your amazing grace!

It feels good to be home, and I'm very excited to begin our new life as a family of six!

Our Last Day

2011-08-02T08:37:00.001-04:00

Well, our time in China has come to an end. Today was a non-eventful day....did a little walking around, went to the pool, had dinner at a "French" restaurant, and now we're packed and ready to go. We head out from here at 8:30 tomorrow morning and get home in the wee hours of Thursday morning.

This has been a really good trip. Other than our night in the Beijing airport, everything has gone really, really well. Rayanna is an absolute delight, we've had a very nice time here, made some new friends, and get to go home with a new daughter! Praise God for so many wonderful blessings!

I was holding Rayanna as she went to sleep tonight, here in our quiet hotel room, and I got to thinking that it's the last time I'll have so much peace and quiet! Having a baby who needs to be held all the time is one thing when she's the only child and you have no other responsibilities. But when we're home with 4 kids and all of life's demands I know it'll be a lot more challenging. I'm very thankful that she's such a contented baby...hopefully she will stay that way, and the transition will go well for all the kids. I'm very excited to see them, and I know they'll love their new little sister!

Thanks for all the prayer and encouragement and for following along on our journey!

Monday

2011-08-01T08:48:00.002-04:00

Today was a pretty fun day. This morning we had our consulate appointment. We had to leave at 7:10, which meant waking up Rayanna, but she did well. We took the (quite anti-climactic) oath, which basically just says that everything we said on our documents is true. We turned in our papers, and they'll have Rayanna's visa ready tomorrow. After that we tried to go to an interesting market area, but it turned out to be a modern shopping area. Loud, busy, modern, and expensive. But the cool part was when we turned down a back alley and explored. We got to go through these tiny little roads and see the "neighborhood." That was very interesting. The amount of contrast here amazes me. There is old and new, rich and poor, andh one extreme is usually right next to the other.

After we got back Rayanna took a really long nap. When she woke up she drank a full bottle, and then about an hour later she drank another full bottle! This second one was the first one she's cried for. Every other time you can't even tell she's hungry. She hardly ate yesterday, so she seems to be on an every-other-day eating schedule! But we were very proud of her for downing two full bottles today! =)

For dinner, Clint & Angie (the couple who adopted the same day as us from the same province) came to our room, and we had Papa John's for dinner. We just couldn't take any more of the humidity and decided to take the easy way out. And it was good! Well, Angie and I took the easy way out . . . Clint & Heath walked to Papa John's and got the pizza, but Angie and I stayed with the babies in the air conditioning. Thanks guys! :) The babies played and even interacted a little bit, and we all talked for awhile. Heath got Rayanna to laugh by tickling her, which you can see in one of the pictures. After our friends left we went down to the pool. I was shocked, but Rayanna actually enjoyed it! She didn't smile, but she splashed around and didn't act at all afraid of it. The water was pretty warm, so I'm sure that helped.

Tomorrow's our last full day here! Yay! This has been a really nice and relaxing trip, and we couldn't ask for an easier baby. But I'm ready to see my other three babies too. I'm glad we'll be going home soon!

Sunday

2011-07-31T08:14:00.001-04:00

This morning we got to attend church! We'd never been to church in China before, so I was really glad we got to do this. It was a Chinese/English service, so most of it was translated for us. The songs were not, but one of them was "As the Deer." The rest were in Chinese. I couldn't understand the words, but it was very beautiful. The pastor spoke about prayer and how its purpose is not to achieve our own will, but God's. After that a lady gave her testimony. It's always neat to see Christianity outside of America and be reminded of how big the Church really is. It's not confined to our country or our traditions, but encompasses people of every nation. When we all get to woship the Lord together in heaven, won't it be wonderful?!?!

For lunch we went to a Thai restaurant. I'd never had Thai food before. The noodles were very strange. Wide, flat and slimy. But they tasted really good! This afternoon we rested in the hotel room and then walked around a bit and had dinner. I don't remember having so much down time when we were here two years ago, but Heath says we did. I guess I spent most of the time sick in bed, so it's all a blur. We still have 2 full days here, and the only appointment is the consulate appointment first thing tomorrow morning. I think we're going to be pretty bored! And walking around the shops is dangerous because I keep buying stuff!

Heath's feeling better. But now I have a sore throat, so I hope I'm not getting sick! Rayanna continues to develop her personality. We don't know what she was like before we met her, so it's hard to tell if this is her normal personality that was just suppressed during the first few stressful days of meeting us, or if she never had much expression and is suddenly developing it quickly just from the change in her environment. Either way, she is super cute! Today we've had to coerce her to eat again. Yesterday was the only day she's really been hungry and drinking full bottles. Today she's uninterested again and cries if we try to make her drink her bottle. But if she's hungry she doesn't act it--she seems very happy. She hardly fusses and is pretty content as long as we're holding her. She's getting much harder to hold though! She's getting more and more squirmy, climbing all over us. You'd think she'd want to get down and play around, but she doesn't. Just loves to be held. I'm really glad she's feeling secure with us though, so all the holding must be working. She's actually played on the bed a few times today, sitting next to us instead of on us, so I think we're making progress!

I'm starting to really miss the big kids. I've been doing really well being apart (and actually enjoying this "vacation" from them), but it's been long enough, and I'm ready to see them! I'm very thankful to be able to see them every day on skype though. It's amazing that we can be completely on the other side of the world and see them in real time, live! Everything seems to be going well there. I know Mommom & Granddad are probably very tired, but I think they'll make it! ;-) The kids seem to be handling it pretty well too. But I can't wait until we're all together again.

Well, that's all for today.

I forgot the pics

2011-07-30T09:12:00.001-04:00

These were supposed to go with the last post.

Saturday Shopping

2011-07-30T09:08:00.001-04:00

We've had a very fun afternoon walking around the little island. It's really nice and peaceful here, compared to the rest of the city. You can actually cross the street without wondering if you'll make it across alive! After Rayanna's nap today, we went out to do a little shopping. I know some people love the shopping experience in foreign countries, but I hate it. Everywhere you go, a salesperson leeches onto you as soon as you come near. Not only do they want to show you every little thing you might possibly want to buy, but they follow you around incessantly! I was trying to make a decision about something, but I couldn't even think because she kept talking to me! When you finally do decide you then have to argue about the price. Of course you get some great deals, but I'd rather just go to Target, shop in peaceful solitude and know exactly how much everything costs. I also hate car shopping for all the same reasons, by the way.

But we did to into two shops that I really enjoyed. One was run by a husband and wife and their little 2-year-old boy. The man played the calabash flute for us and made it look so easy! He also had a CD of him playing, so we bought that. It's really beautiful, soothing music. On the way out, the lady gave us a free fan for Rayanna and gave me my choice of a free bracelet. I chose the one in the picture just because I thought it was pretty, but after I chose it she explained the meaning and I realized it was a fitting choice! The large bead means "happy family" and the four small ones are for 4 children. Perfect!

The other shop I enjoyed was Jordon's. I remembered him from last time. I think it's the only place in the country where you can shop at your leisure and not be pressured to buy anything at all! He does a free calligraphy of each adopted child's name, and he is very friendly and talkative. He told us all about his experience in Nanchang and about growing up in the countryside. When we were ready to go it was pouring down rain and thundering really loud. He unwrapped one of the umbrellas he had for sale and told us we could borrow it! Definitely the best place to shop in my opinion!

The other picture is a T-shirt that I found quite funny. The caption means "Serving the People." But the funniest part was that the lady saw me looking at it and said, "Very popular!" I'm sure she has no idea why it's popular, which makes it even funnier! I thought of several people who I'd love to buy it for, but we only have so much suitcase space, so I decided just to take a picture of it.

After shopping we had dinner at Lucy's, the American-ish restaurant here. We were going to have Chinese, but it was pouring rain and that was the closest thing. We both got hamburgers and french fries, which were really good. And, wonder of wonders, Rayanna let me give her a piece of a french fry! At every meal we try to get her to taste something, but she never will (except for the first morning when Heath got her to try a bit of congee). But this time she actually opened her mouth and ate it! She almost gagged on it though, and refused to take anymore after that. But isn't it nice that her first real food was a french fry?!. She really didn't know how to chew it, so I think we're going to have to go through all the typical baby food stages: rice cereal, Gerber baby stage 1, 2, 3, etc, before we can get to real food. She's had two full bottles without coercing today though, so I think she's really making progress. AND, I was holding her on the bed while we played with some cups, and she actually slid off of me a little at a time until she was sitting on the bed not touching me! I don't think she realized it, but she was on her own! Then a little later she'd been sitting/lying on Heath on the bed and ended up standing there pretty much on her own! As soon as she realizes what she's done she grabs back on for dear life, but she's definitely getting more comfortable. I'm hoping before we leave for home she can sit comfortably on her own without panicking. Otherwise that first ride in a car seat is going to be very traumatic!

Tomorrow we don't have any official business to do. We were supposed to go on a tour to the Folk Art Museum, but since we saw that last time we decided to skip that and go to the church here instead. I'm very excited about visiting a Chinese church, since I've never had the opportunity to do that before! They have a Mandarin/English service, and I'm not sure if it's mostly local people or tourists that go, but I'm definitely looking forward to it.

I hope everyone is doing well back at home! Thanks again for the comments and encouragment and prayer!

Guangzhou Day 1

2011-07-30T01:14:00.001-04:00

Well, I take back what I said about the weather. This morning it's very humid and getting hotter. It's not as bad as Nanchang for sure, but still yucky. When there's a breeze it feels pretty good though. We're right on the Pearl River, so there is a bit of a breeze, and it's a pretty area. We're on Shamian Island which is a part of Guangzhou that is built in European style, so it doesn't feel much like we're in China here. The US Consulate used to be right on this island, but now it's moved into the city so we'll have to take a bus there when we go on Monday.

I did enjoy our delightful breakfast this morning. And at lunch time today, Rayanna drank her first full bottle! We've had to coerce her to eat every time, and she usually won't drink more than half a bottle. But today she guzzled down the whole thing! She still wants nothing to do with solids, even rice congee, which supposedly she's had. But at least she's getting an appetite.

This morning was her medical evaluation. They've changed the law so that we can do immunizations at home. I'm really glad about that because that part was a nightmare for Tabitha! Even without shots, Rayanna was still quite traumatized by it all. Remember . . . she just can't bear to be set down. First we had to set her in a chair for a picture. I wish I could scan and post the picture--she was NOT happy, to say the least! Then we had to lay her down for a quick exam, then to be weighed, then to be measured. Every time she just screamed and screamed. When we got back we had to change her diaper, so she screamed again. But she did calm down each time as soon as we picked her up, and she's definitely getting more comfortable with us holding her and passing her back and forth. The exam went fine. Her referral had classified her as special needs for "possible hearing or mental abnormality," but this doctor was confused as to why they would've put that (as are we), as everything seems completely normal. We're going to have her hearing thoroughly checked when we get home, but she seems to respond to sounds just fine. As far as mental ability, we thinks she's OK too. She's obviously delayed, but after seeing the orphanage I'm pretty sure her environment is to blame for that; it doesn't seem that she has any real problems at all. Praise the Lord!

Heath's feeling a lot better than yesterday but still not up to par. Last time I spent most of our Guangzhou time sick in bed...hopefully this time isn't HIS turn to do that!

We don't have a lot of requirements while we're here. We had the medical check today, tomorrow a little sight seeing, Monday the consulate appointment, Tuesday we just wait for the visa to be delivered, and then Wednesday we head home. All of those things just take a couple of hours each, so it should be a pretty relaxing week.

We missed the boys on skype this morning, but Tabitha and Granddad were there to talk to us. Tabitha seems to be doing well, though she's been asking for us to come home. I must say, I'm very impressed with how involved and hands-on Granddad has been! He's even been doing a lot of Tabitha's medical stuff! Heath's parents have been keeping the kids pretty busy, so hopefully the time's going fast for everybody. It sounds like the kids are most concerned about what presents we're going to bring them when we get back! =)

That's all for now.

note to Kelly and Brief Update

2011-07-29T10:06:00.001-04:00

Kelly--Hmmm....I guess I should consider the placement of those pictures! Yeah, doing it by email I have no clue what the actual post looks like. So, no . . . she's not blossoming into a water buffalo. It was just a picture I couldn't resist sharing. =)

Everyone--We are now in Guangzhou at the beautiful White Swan hotel. We have a king sized bed!! (I didn't know those existed in China! This is my 5th trip here, and I've never seen one before tonight.) AND our room is arcticly cold....it's awesome!! AND outside there's a breeze--almost like a nice summer's evening rather than the boiling cauldron that was Nanchang. AND we had no flight troubles. AND we get to eat the most awesome breakfast ever in about 10 hours. AND, last but not least, Heath is feeling better and Rayanna's sleeping soundly. I'm a very happy camper right now! =)

Our Blossoming Flower

2011-07-28T23:58:00.002-04:00

The above picture is for all the Veggie Tales fans. =)

Rayanna is doing great today! She's been so much less panicky! We still can't set her down, but we can change positions without her crying and even pass her back and forth to each other. It used to be that whenever we moved she'd cry, so this is definite progress! She's also gotten rid of the vacant look in her eyes and is getting more inquisitive. Today while I was talking with someone she just stared intently at my face, never looking away. I don't know if she was trying to learn my face or figure out what this crazy language was, but it was very precious. She's also been making cute little noises, saying things likes "ga ga ga ga", blowing bubbles and playing with her spit (which I normally wouldn't encourage but am very happy about for her)! I think she's starting to come out of her shell and becoming more like a normal baby. We're very excited to see her progress!

On the downside she woke up twice last night. Hopefully that's not a sign of things to come! Also, Heath has a really bad chest cough and a fever. Please pray he gets better quick and doesn't share it!

I just got to meet another family who's adopting from the same orphanage. She had asked me to take pictures of her daughter there, so we got together to talk about the orphanage and the girls and all. It was neat to meet their family! They'll get their daughter on Sunday, and it's their first adoption, so it was fun to be able to share our experiences with them.

This evening we (along with the family who got their baby the same day as us) fly on to Guangzhou and the second half of our trip. Let's pray we don't get stuck in any airports this time!!!

Another Day

2011-07-28T01:22:00.002-04:00

I can't respond to comments on the blog since I don't have access to it here. (I'm sending these posts by email.) But I wanted to say thanks to everyone who's commenting! It's so nice to know people are "with us" on this trip, and your encouragement and prayers are appreciated! Kelly Hills . . . funny you mentioned the water buffalo song. Heath was singing it on the drive to/from the orphanage. Fortunately, not loud enough for anyone but me to hear it. =)

After we got back from the orphanage yesterday, Rayanna was very crabby. We discovered that she's getting her molars! She sucks her thumb a lot, but we noticed her gnawing on it on the side of her mouth, and sure enough . . . there was a tiny tooth poking through! The other side is swollen too, so I think that's making her miserable. Not to mention her world being suddenly turned upsidedown. Tylenol seems to help with the teeth, but only time will help with the other stuff. She still can't bear to be set down for even an instant. I hope she's over that by the time Heath goes back to work, or I will have a serious problem! This isn't the typical whining of a baby who wants to be held, it's a panicked cry. And even if we just change her position from one arm to the other or from standing to sitting, she cries. But, like I said, she does sleep well. So we are VERY thankful that once she falls asleep in our arms we can lay her down for the night and she's fine. She did wake up once last night, but went back to sleep within 15 minutes of holding her. She's not wanting to take a nap this afternoon. She fell asleep while I was holding her this morning, and I think that ruined it for her afternoon nap, even though we were told she takes two naps. I'm hoping she goes to sleep though or it'll be a long evening!

She continues to be very serious, but every now and then we'll see a little half-smile or hear a little coo. It's rare though. Most of the time she's either silent, or she's crying because we aren't holding her just right. But those little glimpses of happiness give me hope that she'll be a lot of fun once she's used to her new life!

We haven't really done anything else since the orphanage trip. Tonight we might meet up for dinner with two other adoptive families, and then tomorrow we'll fly to Guangzhou. I'm looking forward to breakfast at The White Swan already! =)

The Orphanage

2011-07-27T03:36:00.002-04:00

Today we got to visit the orphanage where Rayanna has lived her whole life. It's in Fengxin, about an hour from where we are staying. Fengxin is a smaller city than this and is known for its production of rice, bamboo, and kiwi. We saw a lot of rice fields and many water buffalo used for plowing them! I really enjoy seeing the country side here, and areas where the people still use old methods like water buffalo. The ride there was an adventure. We had a different driver and van, with working air condition--woo hoo! The ride had many of the near death experiences I've come to expect when riding somewhere in China. In the cities it's crazy, but at least you can't go very fast because of the traffic. Once you get out on the highway though, it's another story! That yellow line down the middle of the road is just a decoration I guess. Heaven forbid you slow down or pass on the right! Anyway, we made it safely to and from.

Rayanna was found at the gate of the orphanage, so we got to see the precise place. Then we went inside and we saw the two baby rooms, There are other rooms for the older kids, but they have mostly babies. Only 30 kids live in the whole orphanage. There are a few other buildings on the property too, which are charity homes for elderly people. When we came into the room, the nannies were very excited to see Rayanna. They were very boisterous and kept saying "Hao De! Hao De!" and a bunch of stuff in Chinese. They eagerly wanted to hold her as soon as we walked in. She was a little reluctant, but didn't cry when I passed her to them. The nanny set Rayanna down in her former crib, and I was expecting an outburst because she SCREAMS every time we even think about setting her down. But she didn't cry at all. I'm not sure what was going through her mind. Perhaps at the orphanage she has resigned herself to life in a crib, so she went immediately back to that mentality. I don't know. They brought out a couple of baby toys for her, but she didn't seem interested. I didn't see any other toys for any of the kids though. The babies were all either in cribs or walkers. Two little boys who shared a crib were very animated and friendly with each other. But many of the babies just stared at us with imploring little eyes, and some just stared off into space. The lack of stimulation for them was very sad to see.

On the other hand, the nannies were very friendly. They seem happy to be there and amazingly not overwhelmed by so many children! I think there were 5 or 6 nannies for the 30 kids. I wish we could've stayed for a couple of days to see how on earth they manage to feed and diaper so many babies! (They all wear the split pants with cloth diapers--really more like handkerchiefs--which I guess makes diaper chaging quick. But it can't do a very good job of holding in messes!) I was very glad to see that the nannies did seem to like the kids and were excited to see Rayanna again. Hopefully that means they're giving all those other kids the best care they can. I wish I could do more to help. Maybe someday our family can come back to China and help in an orphanage. I would really like to do something like that someday. A couple of the kids there were about to be adopted within the next couple of weeks. It's hard to understand why they're not ALL being adopted, with so many people waiting for children! I don't understand how it all works, but hopefully all of those precious babies will one day have families of their own.

Since we got back Rayanna's been pretty grumpy. I don't know if she's just tired from not having a realy nap today, or if it upset her to go back there. She hasn't shown much emotion yet about anything, so it's hard to tell. She still can't bear for us to set her down (or even change position when we're carrying her), so we've been holding her pretty much all the time, except at night. Thank goodness she sleeps well! She still won't try any food but her bottle, and even that takes work. We're hoping she'll broaden her horizons to at least rice congee or something like that!

We've been able to Skype with the kids and Heath's parents a few times. It seems like they're doing well and having fun. I'm doing better than I thought I would being apart from them. I can't wait to see them though!

Meet Rayanna!

2011-07-26T04:15:00.002-04:00

OK, so I shared about our disaster of a trip. But now onto the good part! Rayanna Haode Runkles! When we adopted Tabitha we had her for 24 hours before signing the paperwork to make it official. Not so here! As soon as we arrived at the Civil Affairs office (straight from the airport, remember), we were taken to the room where she'd been waiting all day for us. We spent about 2-3 minutes holding her and being excited before we got down to business! We signed a bunch of things in Chinese, which Echo promised to explain later. And then she was ours!

We were given a summary of her daily schedule, but that's it. It's hard to know how to take care of a baby that you've never met just from a few notes on a page. So far she has been very stoic and quiet. She has a very serious little face. We've seen a couple smirks, but nothing I'd call a real smile yet. She hardly makes a peep, though she did make one little babble at lunch today when playing with a toy. But, heaven forbid we set her down for a moment! She cries so horribly if she's not being held! Of course, if that continues it'll become quite annoying, but for now I think it's sweet. I'm sure she's scared and overwhelmed and just needs a lot of comfort. I can only imagine how shocking it would be to have lived your whole life in one building, maybe even one room, and then suddenly you have strange looking white people carrying you around, taking you in elevators and in cars (in Chinese traffic nonetheless), you're carted here and there, and you have no understanding of why or what this all means! It's got to be so overwhelming!

After all the official stuff yesterday, we got to the hotel. It's VERY nice. Rayanna just sat quietly looking around. She wouldn't really play with anything, but seemed content just being held. We were all so tired that the three of us went to bed at the same time. She fell asleep on Heath's chest, and he moved her into her crib a little later. Most amazingly, she stayed asleep and slept for 11 hours without a peep! I sure hope that continues! Heath and I were so happy to have a good night's sleep after our long trip here, and we woke up feeling energized and ready to go.

We gave Rayanna a bath this morning. She cried at first, but then seemed to like it and especially enjoyed splashing. Still no real smiles though. It was nice to have her fresh and clean and out of the too-warm baby blue light-weight sweat suit she was in. Only one layer for her (Tabitha had 3), but still too warm for this weather! She did NOT like lying down to get a new diaper on, but once she was dressed, she was happy. She looked and smelled a lot better too!

This morning we went to see a really fancy ancient pavilion, which was a house for a governor of the area during the Tang Dynasty. It was built it 643 AD I think. It always amazes me how OLD things are here! It was really beautiful. Of course it was like a million degrees outside, so we were all once again soaked with sweat. Heath had Rayanna in the baby carrier, and all the Chinese people were very intrigued. Most of them just laughed, but many came over and talked to her and touched her. I guess the white man carrying the Chinese baby in the baby carrier isn't a sight they see very often! After that Echo showed us to a fancy restaurant for lunch. She even got us our own private room because people might be smoking in the main restaurant. We had a somewhat luxurious lunch there. I mainly just ate the fried rice because everything else was so spicy. Then we came back to our rooms for nap time. Heath and Rayanna are both asleep right now, but for some reason I have a lot of energy!

There's another couple here adopting from our same agency; their names are Clint & Angie. The baby they're adopting has cleft lip/palate, and is two months younger than Rayanna. They're not from the same orphanage, but they'll have this trip in common and share the same birth province. Hopefully we can keep in touch as the girls get older; it's been fun so far having another couple to go through the process with.

Even though Rayanna is 16 months old, she seems more like an 8 or 9 month old. I can't believe that she's only bottle fed at this age! They did say she eats soup, but no mention of any solids (unless you count the rice cereal they add to her formula). So far she hasn't had much appetite. She has a cold, and I'm sure just the stress of all this has her not feeling her best. But it takes a lot of encouraging to get her to take her bottle, and she won't even give anything else a try. I'm hoping she starts to eat more and will eventually try some solid food. It doesn't seem like she can be getting all she needs from formula at this age.

We were told she can sit and crawl, though not stand yet. It's been hard to try out any of that since she cries if she's anywhere other than our laps. But it'll come. Right now we just want her to know she's loved and safe. We're trying to get her interested in toys too. It seems she didn't really have toys before. She spends a lot of time examing her hands and scratching at things, but doesn't really play with them. She did play a little with some toy cups today, but mainly she just wants to look around at everything. Fortunately she seems to like both of us and is comfortable if either of us holds her. She's been very easy to take care of so far. I'm curious to see what will happen after a few days. Tabitha started out the same way but totally came out of her shell. So I don't know if that will happen with Rayanna too, or if this is her real personality. I just love how sweet and snuggly she is right now!

News flash....she just woke up, and didn't cry that we weren't holding her! She's actually up on her hands and knees right now . . . so maybe crawling will be next. I'll try to post again tomorrow, after we visit her orphanage. I'm really looking foward to that and finding out more about her first 16 months. That's all for now!

Our Adventurous Journey

2011-07-25T21:40:00.002-04:00

Well, I've had a great night's sleep, and am now ready to update you all on our first few days. We left home Friday evening and went to Heath's parents' house. We got the kids all settled in and moved in their truckloads of stuff. Putting them to bed was a little sad, knowing that we wouldn't see them again for almost 2 weeks. They handled it OK, and I did too. :) We went to bed about 9:30 and left for the airport at 3:30. (Night #1 of not enough sleep). The plan was to fly to Beijing (with a layover in San Francisco), and then fly to Nanchang, check into the hotel and get rested before meeting Rayanna. That's not quite what happened.

The flight to San Francisco was fine. The skies were clear, and we were low enough to see a lot of amazing scenery. It was gorgeous! We had a very short layover there, and boarded the plane for Beijing. It was a long and boring, but non-eventful flight. It felt very good to get out, and we were looking forward to a few hours to stretch our legs before the final flight. It was supposed to leave at 7:30pm, so we would have 4 hours at the airport. We successfully got our luggage and went to the domestic flights to check in for that. The lady there told us the flight had been delayed so we couldn't check in yet. This was the first of many non-informative things we'd be told. For the next few hours we attempted to get more information, but no one could tell us anything except to wait. As more and more flights were cancelled, the swarms of people grew. Lines don't mean much in China, and we aren't very pushy people in America (let alone compared to here), and we don't speak Chinese so it was futile for us to get any real help. We weren't supposed to have a guide meeting us since it was just a layover, but we ended up getting in touch with Lisa, our Beijing guide from the last adoption. She came to the airport to help us out. After lots of waiting we finally were given a flight for 7:40 the next morning. That would get us to Nanchang just in time to meet Rayanna at 11:00. By this time it was really late, and the nearby hotels were booked. So we decided just to stay at the airport. Lisa left, (and refused to take any money for her trouble and transportation. I'm still trying to scheme up a way to get it to her!)

The reason for the cancellations was a very severe storm. The whole airport lit up with each lightning flash, and we could hear the rain pouring down like crazy. The thunder was very powerful, and I have to admit I'm glad we weren't flying through that! However, I was none too happy about the situation. We had talked to our Nanchang guide Echo to let her know we wouldn't make it, but I was worried we wouldn't get a flight even in time to do the paperwork at 3:00 the next day. Because so many flights were cancelled, the airport was filled with people camping out. Every booth seat in restaurants, every bench, chair, or other surface had someone sleeping on it. We found a quiet hallway, and just lay down at the edge of it, using our bags as pillows. Wow. As a kid I thought sleeping on the floor was fun. It certainly is not fun anymore! Especially when it's not even carpeted! We moved around a few times, basically out of boredom and frustration, but never found any good place to sleep. Around 4 am, I was glad we had our suitcases because I was able to change clothes and brush my teeth, and that helped. Despite the set back I was ready to face the new day and go get our daughter!

So about 6:00 am we went to the other terminal to check in for our new flight. And we heard once again those terrible words, "You cannot check in now; this flight has been delayed. Come back in 30 minutes." Now, I thought I'd been handling our misfortune pretty well all night. After all, I slept on a cold hard tile floor and didn't complain (that much). But this was my breaking point. I was so done with this trip and ready to just give up and go home. Anything to get out of the airport! There was no way we'd get to Nanchang in time now, and if we missed our paperwork appointment it would probably get us stuck in China for several extra days, as each step of the adoption process depends on the things before it. But the worst part was that no one would give us any explanation. It's bad enough in your own country when you can't get help, but in a foreign country with the language barriers, we had no idea why or for how long or what. I just sat despondently in a hallway watching some kids play. Heath kept going back to check on the status every 20-30 minutes. Of course, they dont' put any information on the computer. You have to actually wait in line, get to the counter and ask, only to be sent away again and again, still with no explanation. Finally, at one point he came back saying that she had said we could check in! I think that was about quarter to 9. So we waited in line yet again. When we got to the front she said they'd had to put us in first class because economy was booked. (Aw, shucks.) She printed our boarding passes and put tags on our luggage, and I was finally ready to breathe a sigh of relief. But then she said she couldn't give us our boarding passes yet; we needed to take our luggage and come back at 9:10. What/?!?! That got me to thinking maybe this was just a stand-by ticket, and she was waiting to see if there was room. We left again, and got back in line again at 9:05, got to the front, and she tells us to please wait. So we step aside while person after person goes through the line, and we are forgotten (or so I thought). I finally just sat down on the floor, thinking all kinds of horrible thoughts about the airport, the country, and the way things are done. Then, about 20 minutes later she says, "OK, here you go." She handed us our boarding passes and told us to take our luggage to this other place. We did that and then hurried to our gate, since we didn't even know what time it was leaving. The boarding pass said boarding time had started 25 minutes ago (while we were sitting there waiting), so we were panicked that after all this we'd miss our flight! So we got our exercise getting to the gate, only to find a sign that the flight had been moved to the other end of the terminal. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! So we rushed back the way we came, finally made it to the gate, and waited in a mob to get onto the bus that drove to the other side of the tarmac to take us to our plane. We got on board and were indeed in first class. Heath asked if that made up for all the trouble, and I said that it certainly did not--it's only a 2-hour flight! However, if we get bumped to first class for the 13-hour flight home, I'll call it even. :)

We got all buckled in and were served breakfast on fine China while still at the gate. We could stretch our legs out all the way straight, and had SO much room! I felt like quite spoiled! The pilot made some announcement in Chinese, which I didn't even try to understand. Then it came on in English, and I started to ignore it as the usual pre-flight jabber, until I heard the words "the Beijing airport is currently shut down." NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Because of weather again, all flights were frozen for at least an hour. Well, at least we were on the plane. I went to sleep, and it's good I did, because while I slept Heath saw other planes de-boarding! If I had seen that it wouldn't have been pretty! But I slept through it all, and soon we were on our way. We both slept through the entire flight until we were awaken to put our seats up straight. And we finally landed in Nanchang....only about 16 hours late. Our guide sent someone else to pick us up (who'd been waiting for us for 4 hours), and we were taken directly to the Civil Affairs Office, where Rayanna was waiting for us! Nothing like meeting your new child after 2 days of travelling with little sleep and no showers and extreme exhaustion!

But, nonetheless, we were very excited to see her! It was a whirlwind. We met her, signed a bunch of papers, got some official pictures taken, met the other family travelling with us and their new daughter, went to the police station for another picture, went to a notary's office, and finally to our hotel. It's over 100 degrees here, and the air conditioning in our van is useless. I was holding Rayanna and was literally dripping sweat from riding in there. Yuck. But we did finally get to the fancy hotel with a shower and two beds. (I was worried we'd be sharing one full-size bed, which would've been almost as bad as the airport floor!) After a good night's sleep we are all feeling good and ready to enjoy the day.

Next post....all about Rayanna!

We're Here At Last!

2011-07-25T08:20:00.002-04:00

We are here, and we have Rayanna!!!

More details to come, but I'm too tired to post more right now. Let's just say I have some things to add to my "Never-Want-To-Do-Again" list, one of them being spending 19 hours in a Chinese airport as just one small part of a 48-hour journey. SO not fun.

But Rayanna is with us, and we have beds to sleep in tonight. And that's where I'm headed . . .

Good night. :)

Provision!

2011-07-21T13:08:00.000-04:00

OK, I know I said I wasn't going to post anymore until China, but this is important. =) I have been amazed at God's financial provision for this adoption! When we started the process I questioned how on earth we were ever going to come up with the money. We'd used up all our savings on the last adoption (and still needed help), Heath had been laid off for awhile, and we still hadn't sold our house. But nonetheless, we applied. As we went through the process we have had SO many people helping us financially. Just this week we received two more substantial gifts! Not only do we have enough to complete the adoption, but we also have spending money and enough to pay all our bills while we're gone! God is so good, and the $30,000 that terrified me is NOTHING to the God of the universe! He must laugh at my silly worries! A BIG thanks goes to all of you who have helped us out; God has used you to be a great blessing to us, as well as to Rayanna. Thank you so much.

Please pray for me in this last day or so with my kids. It has been a rough week. My hope was to spend this week making fond memories and enjoying a lot of time with the kids before our lives are once again changed forever. Instead, all we've been doing is fighting! It's terrible! I guess everyone's feeling the stress, whether consciously or not, and taking it out on each other. (Well...the kids and me, that is. Heath's been at work missing all the "fun.") I know I'm the adult here and need to set the tone, but I'm really struggling. I feel like crisis after crisis keeps knocking me down: for example we've had three leaks in a row of Tabitha's ostomy bag, major behavior and emotional drama with one of the boys (who shall remain nameless), and SO much bickering and fighting I can't stand it. Instead of spending quality time with my kids, I keep finding myself hiding from them! Please pray for me to rise above these challenges and for us to have a peaceful, enjoyable last day together. And pray like crazy for our adjustment period! Thanks.

Well, this really should be my last post now. Next time I'll be writing from China!

Itinerary

2011-07-19T21:19:00.000-04:00

Just a quick post for anyone wanting to know our itinerary. Remember, China is 12 hours ahead of here (EST), so most of this will happen while you're sleeping. =)

Friday, July 22--get kids settled at Heath's parents' house; spend the night there

Saturday, July 23--arrive at BWI at 5:00 am; layover in San Francisco, layover in Beijing, then onto Nanchang. By the time we get to Beijing it will be Sunday there.

Sunday, July 24--arrive in Nanchang 9:40 pm, go to hotel

MONDAY, JULY 25--MEET AND ADOPT RAYANNA! (Babies are scheduled to be brought to our hotel room at 11:00 am, paperwork to be done at the Civil Affairs Office at 3:00 pm. But all times are subject to change.)

Tuesday, July 26--Tour Nanchang

Wednesday, July 27--Visit Orphanage!

Thursday, July 28--Tour more of Nanchang (but I'm thinking we might choose to rest instead)

Friday, July 29--Paperwork finished; fly to Guangzhou 2:00-3:25 pm. Go to hotel.

Saturday, July 30--Rayanna's medical exam (no shots this time, we do them once we get home); photo and paperwork

Sunday, July 31--Tour Guangzhou

Monday, August 1--Consulate appointment

Tuesday, August 2--Rayanna's visa ready

Wednesday, August 3--fly to Beijing at 11:00; fly to Newark; fly to Baltimore

Wee Hours of the Morning Thursday, August 4--go through customs; come home!!!

One Week From Now!

2011-07-16T08:25:00.000-04:00

One week from now Heath and I will be on our way to China! I'm sure I'll be feeling a lot of things at this moment....exhaustion (because I'm sure I won't sleep much the night before), sadness at leaving the kids behind, gratitude for my in-laws and the fact that for 12 days I don't have to empty any ostomy bags or break up any fights, excitement and nervousness at meeting our new daughter!

Although this trip will be very similar to the last one (pictured here), there are some big differences too.

Obviously, since it's just Heath and me going this time the dynamics will be very different. Probably easier than last time, but also lonelier. It was very special to have our whole family together to welcome Tabitha into it, and to have Stephanie (Heath's mom) and Amy (Heath's cousin) sharing that with us. This time it'll just be us, and we won't be able to take a "new family" picture until we get home. On the other hand, we'll have plenty of time to focus on Rayanna, and I imagine the whole 12 days will be a lot more peaceful than it was last time. =)

I know we have so many people praying for us, and we are so thankful for each one of you! Please also remember to pray for the kids, that they'd do OK being away from us for so long. (The longest we've left them before is 3 days.) And pray for Bob & Stephanie a lot! They're about to be suddenly back to the stage of life they were in 20-30 years ago, parenting young children! Pray especially for Stephanie, since she'll be handling Tabitha's medical care. Just pray that no complications come up while we're gone. And of course, pray that our kids behave like the perfect little angels they are (ha ha ha), and Mommom and Granddad aren't done-in by this adventure!

We're still waiting on our itinerary. We don't even know which day we're meeting Rayanna, or any of our in-country travel times. Our agency promised to have it to us next Monday at the latest, but I'm going crazy! If this were a normal vacation trip, I would've had every day planned out months ago. So having to wait until 5 days before we leave to know what we're actually doing is killing me!! Not to mention, we only have a "cost estimate" and don't know the actual price until then either! Oh well, I guess it's good for me to just go with the flow and learn to relax. I'm sure they'll get it all figured out and we'll have a great time. =)

I still have some shopping to do, and lots of packing, but I'm getting there. We should be ready on time, and hopefully without forgetting anything important. On Friday evening we'll bring the kids to Heath's parents, and we'll spend the night there too since we'll have to leave for the airport at 3 am or something like that! So my goal is to have everything ready by Thursday, so that Friday we just throw in the last-minute items and can relax and have fun together before we go.

I doubt I'll be blogging again before we leave, so plan on my next post being from the land of Zhong Guo!! Zai jian for now! =)

Test

2011-07-09T07:29:00.001-04:00

I'm testing posting by email since I can't access blogger in China. Just seeing if this works.

And a bonus picture of Rayanna =)

Taylor Family Reunion

2011-07-07T19:19:00.000-04:00

This week we had the wonderful privilege to get together with my mom's side of the family. My grandparents are celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary this year! (Congratulations Grandmom & Grandpop!) To celebrate, they treated us to a vacation!

There were about 20 of us who came, and we all stayed at the Canna Inn. It was really neat! It used to be a barn, but it was converted into a large house. The owners kept a lot of the original look to it, so it's a very unique place to stay, full of character. (I failed to take any pictures of it though, so sorry I can't post it here!)

We arrived on Sunday afternoon and had a chance to get reacquainted with some relatives we hadn't seen in a long time. My little cousins had grown up into teenagers! And I finally got to meet my aunt's husband for the first time! :)

On Monday we had a professional family photo taken outside the Inn. They turned out really nice and will make a nice memory of our time together. My favorite is the one we had taken of my grandmom, my mom, me, and Tabitha: four generations of mother/daughter relationships. After the photography we went to the nearby State Park to swim and relax and enjoy the 4th of July.

On Tuesday most of us went to Hershey Park. Although I'd been to the Hershey Chocolate Museum there twice I'd never been to the park before. It was a lot of fun. My mom and I spent the day mainly at the kiddie rides. My mom even did the bumper cars! The boys and Heath and I enjoyed the wave pool for a little while. That felt awesome on such a hot day! My brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and cousins did some of the bigger rides or spent the day at the water park. We finally made it home about 8 pm. We were truly exhausted, but glad we'd had such a fun day.

On Wednesday some of us went to the Harley Davidson factory. We got to take a tour around the actual factory. It was pretty amazing to see how they make the various parts of the bikes! Heath was disappointed that we didn't get a free bike as a souvenir, but it was really interesting to see how they're made. Afterward, Mom kept the kids so Heath and I could have a lunch date at Friendly's.

In the evenings, we played games, talked, and relaxed at the house. My grandparents planned all of this for us and made it a very special time for each one of us! Grandpop also spent time sharing from his heart about his and Grandmom's love and care for all the family, and their desire for us to walk with the Lord. They are a very special couple, and we love and appreciate them so much! Happy Anniversary, Grandmom & Grandpop!

Travel Approval!

2011-07-07T15:49:00.000-04:00

We have our Travel Approval! In Chinglish its official translated title is, "Notice of Traveling to China for Adoption." It means that we're allowed to go get Rayanna!!

The adoption process has seemed to go amazingly fast for me this time. And now we're leaving in just over two weeks!!! That is really hard to believe! We will be going to China July 23rd and returning August 3rd. That is so soon!

I feel a little overwhelmed. I had all these plans for what I was going to accomplish this summer after we finished school, and now it seems I have only 2 weeks of summer left, since August will definitely not be a month with much free time! Within those two weeks I need to go through Rayanna's clothes and see what we still need (after hopefully getting the latest update on her sizes), finish setting up her room, shop for the "required gifts" we need to bring with us, pack the three kids to go to the grandparents', pack for Rayanna, pack for Heath and me, take care of a few doctor appointments, and of course get all the adoption documents gathered and the fees paid for travel. But I was also hoping to get next year's school planning done before we leave, as well as get a bunch of cleaning and household projects taken care of. Oh well, I think some of those will have to be skipped. BECAUSE WE LEAVE IN 16 days!!!!!! I can't believe it!! So exciting!!!

Thanks for following along on our journey. I do hope to update this blog while we're there, so check back frequently if you'd like to see how things are going!

Medical Update

2011-07-01T14:13:00.001-04:00

Well, our summer of "fun" continues. The ostomy and catheters continue to cause mishaps at times, but I only have an occasional meltdown, so I guess that's progress. :)

Last night we had a bit of an adventure. Tabitha woke up from her nap acting sick and feeling really hot. She often has a very high body temperature, so I didn't worry too much about it. But she just lay on the couch acting miserable until about 5:00 when she threw up all over herself and the couch. (Yay! Now we can add vomit to the list of bodily fluids I get to clean up this summer. So fun.) Anyway, I asked Heath to pick up a thermometer on his way home since ours had broken. He got one of the super-accurate fancy-schmancy ones that you just run across the forehead. SO NICE! (Anyone else remember sticking the mercury-filled glass tube under your tongue and holding it there for what seemed like hours?) Anyway....her temperature read 105! We tried it on ourselves and the boys, and we all got readings around 98 or 99. So we gave her some tylenol and called her doctor in Cincinnati. Normally we are not the type to bother with a doctor for a little stomach bug, but we'd been warned to watch for fevers because she's at high risk for infection with all her tubes and what not, and infection could be really bad because of her kidney problems. So the on-call doctor Heath talked to said to go ahead and take her to the emergency room. By now the temperature read 106, and we were getting worried.

We decided that Heath would take her to Johns Hopkins ER, which isn't too much further than the Frederick one but would definitely be more helpful if it was something serious. The two of them left, and despite Heath's hurried driving and flying over bumps, Tabitha didn't even wake up. Heath was getting worried about her lack of response. But when they got to the hospital, she woke up and was acting totally normal, plenty of energy, happy, and even talking to the nurses! When they took her temperature it was only 101. So of course they probably thought we're the type of parents who freak out and bring our kids to the ER for every little illness or injury. After looking at her long medical history the doctor did assure Heath that we did need to be very careful in her case, and it was good to bring her in. But I still don't think they believed her temperature had been that high. Oh well.

They ran blood and urine tests, which showed she'd been fighting something, but didn't show anything serious. So, it seems like it was just her body way over-reacting to a stomach virus, and nothing more. Either that or it WAS something more, and God answered prayer and quickly zapped whatever it was and made it go away! Either way, we're very thankful that she's OK and was able to come right back home instead of having another hospital stay.

In related news, we have her surgery date set for August 30th. We couldn't get in soon enough to have it done before we go to China, unfortunately. So a few weeks after we bring Rayanna home we'll get to go back to Cincinnati for surgery. Hooray. But, at least we can start counting down the days! (Notice my latest "ticker" at the bottom of the left side of the page.) =) She (and I) will be SO happy to get rid of all the bags and tubes. We survived June....just July and August to go!

Adoption Prayer Requests

2011-06-19T18:00:00.000-04:00

We are so thankful to have so many people praying for us during this adoption process. For anyone interested in specific items to pray about, here are some things that are most important to us right now:

* Timing. Thank the Lord that the process has gone smoothly, and pray for His perfect timing on our travel dates (especially with working around Tabitha’s surgery).

* Finances. Thank God for the amazing ways He’s provided the money needed for this adoption! We are so grateful for the help we’ve received from SO many people! Pray that He provides the last bit of money we need in order to travel.

* Completion. Pray that no complications arise that would prevent us from bringing Rayanna home within the next couple of months.

* Rayanna’s Health. We’re not exactly sure what Rayanna’s needs are, if any. Please pray that she’s completely healthy and that God would prepare us for anything we may face.

* The Big Kids. I hate the idea of leaving them on the other side of the world while we take this long trip (even though they’ll be in good hands). I’ll miss them terribly, and I’m sad that they won’t be there to welcome Rayanna into our family. Pray for me to handle all of that well and not let it ruin the excitement of our time in China. Thank the Lord for Heath’s parents’ willingness to keep them! Pray that all goes smoothly for them, that the kids behave well and that they don’t miss us TOO much (though I hope they do miss us a little)!

* Safety/Health. Thank the Lord that we are in good health, and pray that no health issues arise for our kids or for us while we’re gone.

* Adjustment for Rayanna. Pray for Rayanna’s emotional needs. She’s about to go through a major change in her life and won’t be able to understand why. Pray that she quickly bonds with us and soon feels at home in her new family and country.

* Adjustment for the Rest of Us. Pray for wisdom and patience for us as we help Rayanna through the transition. Pray also for the relationships among the siblings. While they’re all excited, we know that it’ll be a big adjustment for everyone. Pray that they all come to love each other and get along well. Pray also that Heath and I would be able to balance our attention to each child and keep strong relationships with all four of them.

Thank you so very much for keeping us in your prayers. We know it makes a difference, and we appreciate every one of you!

Runkles Piano Studio Recital

2011-06-18T20:56:00.000-04:00

Today we had our end-of-year piano recital, featuring music from the Romantic era. The kids did a fabulous job! I was really proud of them, and pleasantly surprised at how well everyone played. I gave out their certificates for another year of piano study. It's hard to believe I've been teaching some of them for 7 years!

I usually perform too, to keep myself practicing and set an example for the kids. This time I took a risk and played a tough piece I hadn't performed since college. I didn't play as well as I could have "in my prime", but it turned out OK, and it was fun to have a challenge again.

This is a really great group of kids. I've gotten to know them and their families pretty well over the years. They aren't just students or clients any more, but they're also friends. Great job today, kids!!

Article 5!

2011-06-14T16:40:00.000-04:00

We just found out that we were granted our "Article 5 Letter" on June 9th. This is the U.S. Consulate's approval that everything is in order for the adoption to be completed! All that's left is for CCCWA (China's Adoption Authority) to issue our permission to travel! That should happen in about 3 weeks, and then we'll get our travel dates!! So it's looking like we'll leave sometime in the second half of July.

I can't believe we're getting so close!! Hooray!!

My Husband

2011-06-13T13:30:00.000-04:00

I thought I should take a moment to add a post about Heath. He had his birthday on Saturday (which means he can no longer call me old since we're the same age again). =) But it's not just his birthday that makes me feel the need to write about him. It's the fact that he is so amazing!

I usually write on this blog about my experiences and feelings, and lately there has been an abundance of negative posts in regards to Tabitha's medical issues. But the truth is without Heath everything would be a whole lot worse. In fact, I probably wouldn't even be posting anything at all. When I worry and fret and complain about the the things we've had to deal with lately, he consoles me, and . . . just does what needs to be done. He never complains, never even acts bothered by all of this. Even though he has to be at work most days, when he's home he takes care of the majority of the medical needs, including getting up in the middle of the night to empty her bag so it doesn't leak. I have friends whose husbands will barely let them out of the house because they don't want to have to take care of the kids, but Heath is just the opposite. He's always trying to make motherhood easier on me and finds ways to lift my burdens all the time.

I've probably thoroughly embarrassed him by posting this, but it needed to be said. =)

Happy Birthday, Heath. I love you. Thank you so much for all you do.

Our Lovely Summer Begins

2011-06-13T10:38:00.000-04:00

I got in "trouble" for saying that our summer is going to stink because of all of Tabitha's contraptions . . . the no swimming, no bike riding, and having to deal with poop and urine bags wherever we go. Someone told me I should instead look at all the fun stuff we CAN do besides swimming and bike riding. My philosophy is I'd rather assume it's going to stink and be pleasantly surprised, than to act like everything's fine and be upset when it turns out awful. So call me a pessimist, but I'm sticking with my "this summer's going to stink" philosophy. After all, if you expect the glass to be empty and it turns out only half empty that's a good thing. If you expect it to be full, you'll be mad when it's not.

So anyway, today's our first day of summer break, having finished school on Friday. Here's how it began:

Tabitha's bag (which was newly put on yesterday) was showing signs of coming off around the edges, so I retaped all that, hoping it'll hold a little longer. (If we change to too often it could damage her skin.) Oh, the reason it was a new bag from yesterday is that we had put on a new bag Saturday night, but unfortunately it had released its contents overnight, so Sunday morning we woke up to a daughter and her bed that were covered in those contents. Cleaned up, put on new bag, off to church, no further incidents.

This morning one of my dear sons (who shall rename nameless) refused to get out of bed so we could proceed with our fun summer plans for today, and we had a wonderful time of, shall we say, character building exercises between him and me. Meanwhile, while he was having some alone time to work on his attitude, I was helping the other two do their chores. Tabitha finished brushing her teeth, and leaned against the edge of the counter top to wipe off the sink, the pressure causing the velcro closure on her ostomy bag to burst apart. The contents were all liquid today and proceeded to skip over her clothes entirely, but made a huge puddle on the floor and splatters all over the walls, cabinet, and me. It would've been funny if it weren't so nasty. So I cleaned that up, went back to dealing with aforementioned attitude problem, and then proceeded to Tabitha's regular morning routine. I got that all finished, my beloved son had a shiny new attitude, and I thought, "OK, we're good now. Let's get ready for our outing to the park."

While I was still in the house and the kids were playing outside, Ethan and Tabitha came running in saying her bag popped. I looked down, and the urine bag was empty, and her shoes and pant legs were drenched. It didn't actually pop, but it had a leak in the seam. Back to her bedroom, another change of clothes, clean up, put on new bag, resume life. And at this point it wasn't even 10 in the morning. At this rate it's going to be a LOOOONG summer.

We've already had to turn down 3 swimming invitations because it's sort of cruel to go to someone's house to swim and make Tabitha sit and watch. And every time we leave the house I'm nervous something's going to leak or explode. What supplies should I bring? How many outfits? What do I dress her in so the world isn't gawking at the bodily waste hanging off of her? Is it even worth leaving the house? I guess the experienced parents who said the ostomy is no big deal either had a very different experience than we're having, or have a very different definition of "no big deal."

Oh the good news....we started dilations on Friday. That's where we stick a metal tube up her butt to make sure it's not healing shut. Well, it doesn't hurt her at all, which we're very thankful about. (See...look at me seeing that glass half full!)

I'm actually doing pretty well emotionally. I'm not feeling overwhelmed or angry anymore, I'm just kind of resigned to this being our life for awhile. I fully intend to make the most of this summer. I'm not going to wallow in misery or anything. But when I say that having to deal with these things all summer is going to stink, I think I'm right. Anyone who disagrees is welcome to come takeover. =)

2011-06-03T21:48:00.000-04:00

A fellow adoptive mom, Kelly, shared this on her blog, and I had to add it to mine. It's just too funny! I'm definitely inspired to resume working on my Chinese before we go back this summer. But the funniest thing about this video is knowing how crazy everyone watching these guys must think they are. Westerners in China get enough funny looks, and then to hear them singing this ridiculous song in Chinese . . . . I wish I had been there!

In the conversation at the beginning the guy means to ask for dumplings, but actually asks for "sleep well." Chinese is a complicated language. :)

Enjoy!

Cincinnati Again

2011-06-03T21:08:00.000-04:00

We just got back from another trip to Cincinnati. Heath, Tabitha and I left Thursday morning at 7 and got back Friday night at 7. 16 hours of driving, a night at a hotel, and an hour at the hospital. It was worth it though. We got rid of two of the tubes/bags. These were big and very inconvenient, so we're glad to have those gone!

But she still has two tubes in her bladder to keep it empty. One comes through the urethra and into the diaper, and the other comes out directly through her belly and empties into a bag that she has to wear all the time. And she still has the ileostomy, which is a stoma that empties into a stick-on bag on her belly. The bag is emptied several times a day, and every 2-3 days it has to be peeled off and replaced. She HATES that. All of this will continue for at least 8 more weeks. Because of the tubes going into her bladder she can't go swimming or take baths; she also can't ride her bike for 3 months while the newly-created parts heal. So no swimming, no bike-riding, and no easy way to wear shorts . . . makes for a real fun summer. Here's what her belly looked like a few days ago. Now it's the same, minus the two green tubes:

Since 8 weeks from now we'll most likely be in China, we'll have to wait until after the adoption to do the ileostomy closure. I REALLY didn't want to do that, but that's how the timing has worked out. Fortunately Heath's wonderful mom is willing to deal with all of Tabitha's "accessories" while we're in China, so the kids will all be staying with them. When it's time for the surgery, we plan to take the whole family to Cincinnati and make another "vacation" out of it, so that we're not splitting up the family again so soon after our adoption and China trip. I just keep wishing everything could've come together sooner so that all of this was taken care of last year! But at least next summer should be OK!

As far as Tabitha's progress goes, the doctors were pleased with how everything's healing. They said it's looking great! We actually ended up seeing all 3 of her doctors at once instead of 3 separate appointments. It was really great to have them all there in the same room at the same time. (We love that Cincinnati team!) There's still a lot going on though. In another week we start dilations to make sure the anus doesn't heal too small. That means twice a day for the next 3 months inserting a metal cylinder and increasing the size each week. Once the ileostomy is taken away we'll go back to daily enemas for about 6 months. After that we can try to potty train, but we don't know for sure whether or not she'll have bowel control. She did show muscle movement at the exam yesterday, so I guess that's a good sign.

Gynecologically she'll just need regular exams to make sure the tissue is all staying healthy, and to check for cysts. When they were doing her surgery they found an ovarian cyst which they removed and had tested. In all the drama of the ileostomy and tubes and all, I didn't even have time to worry about that and almost forgot about it. But when we talked with the doctor yesterday, she said it was benign and not a problem. Thank the Lord for that!

Since she has the tube in her bladder and has kidney reflux, we have to flush the tube with antibiotics once a day, in addition to the oral antibiotics she takes. She has stage 2 kidney damage, which is our biggest concern for her long term health. Please pray with us that it doesn't get any worse, or even that God would miraculously reverse the damage. She will need re-implantation of her ureters in order to fix the reflux (which is kind of like a leaky valve that needs to be replaced). After the ileostomy closure this summer, more testing will be done on her bladder/kidneys; based on that her urologist/nephrologist will make plans for exactly when and what to do with the bladder and kidneys. So she's got at least 2 more surgeries coming up in the next year.

Please keep praying for her health. She's at a higher risk for infections because of the tubes, and with her kidney problems an infection could be very serious. Also pray that her long term health would be good: kidneys, bowel control, bladder issues, etc. She has a lot going on. Please pray for her emotions too. She absolutely hates having the ileostomy and has been begging to ride her bike and go swimming but can't do either for most of the summer.

I'd also appreciate prayer for God's continued grace in helping me deal with all of this. We had a major leak from her ileostomy on Wednesday during her nap. It was pretty much the grossest thing I've ever dealt with in my life. I'll spare you the details, but just imagine a leak while she's asleep, and then trying to get her dirty shirt off over her head. Yup. It was disgusting. And Heath wasn't home so I had to deal with it. Amazingly, I did not lose it, and I was even able to comfort Tabitha who was quite upset. I don't think I'm exaggerating much to say that that was a miracle. In my own strength I couldn't have come through that at all calmly. So I know God is working, and I know He is with me providing strength every step of the way. And yet I still worry. How will we handle this? How will we handle that? What if this? What if that? And I still hate that we have to deal with this at all. But I can definitely see God working on me, and somehow He will bring good out of all of this.

Now I need to focus on our last week of school and then getting ready for Baby #4! Yay!!

A Good Week

2011-05-28T10:40:00.000-04:00

Well, we've been home from the hospital almost a week and despite all my griping and worrying, everything's been going OK. Managing the catheters and ostomy isn't fun, but I'm not emotionally overwhelmed by it anymore. Heath's been home a lot this week and done the majority of the work, and I know we have a lot of prayer support. And it's working! Thanks for praying for me . . . God has given me peace about all this, and I'm going to make it!

In addition, we've also had a few delicious meals delivered (thanks Mom R, Mary Ellen, and Bekah), and we even got our date night (thanks to our friends Jaci and Kelly)! So, it hasn't been all bad!

Tabitha is doing really well. She's not on any pain medicine anymore, and she's up and around, almost back to her old self. We're trying to keep her somewhat calm so she doesn't rip out any of her contraptions, but she definitely has most of her energy and all of her spirit back. She's doing OK with the tubes and all, but a couple of times she's gotten teary eyed and said, "Mommy, why do I have to have these?" That really broke my heart because I'd only been concerned that she not be in pain; I hadn't thought about it bothering her emotionally, but I guess it does. Fortunately, it's only temporary.

We go back to Cincinnati on Thursday, just for one night, for her post-op appointments. They'll take out 2 of the tubes then, so she'll be down to just 2 tubes and the ostomy. Please pray about scheduling the ostomy take-down. They told us 8-12 weeks, which puts it as the 2nd week of July as the earliest. And what's the earliest we could travel to China to adopt Rayanna? You guessed it--the 2nd week of July. We don't know our adoption travel dates until 3 weeks ahead of time, so it really makes it hard to figure out how to schedule Tabitha's surgery. If we did it before adopting, we'd want Tabitha to be totally recovered before we go, but we wouldn't want to keep Rayanna waiting any longer than necessary. If we did it after the adoption, it adds a stressful event to the already stressful adjustment period. So pray that we'll know what to do, and that the medical issues and adoption issues all work out somehow!

We really do have so much to be thankful for. To name just a few . . .
-Her ileostomy is only temporary; some people have it for life.
-Her hospital stays are occasional and planned, not life-threatening or constant.
-We have amazing insurance. We haven't gotten the bill yet, but we're guessing (based on her previous surgeries) that this will be a couple hundred thousand dollars. And all we have to pay is a $30 copay.
-God led us to the world's best hospital and doctors for handling Tabitha's issues. In fact, her surgeon is the partner of the doctor that invented the surgery she had done, which was a huge improvement on the way it used to be done.
-We live here and now. Thirty years ago this procedure hadn't been figured out, and there was no Colorectal Center like this. Let alone had we lived in another century, when she probably wouldn't have even survived. We also live in a country that is blessed with amazing doctors and technology. And, even though I complained a lot about our hospital stay, it was luxury compared to many other hospitals. For comparison, here are some pictures of the hospital we spent a few hours in with Tabitha in China: crowded, dirty, IV's on poles, payment required before treatment . . .

And here is Cincinnati Children's Hospital: bright, cheery, clean, safe, and comfortable . . .

We really have NOTHING to complain about!

We're Getting Close!

2011-05-24T16:17:00.000-04:00

I've been so busy with Tabitha's surgery that I haven't even had time to think about how close we're getting to Rayanna! While we were in Ohio a letter came saying that our I800 approval had been forwarded to the US Consulate in Guangzhou. From this point it takes about 2-3 weeks to get approval from them. Then it takes 3-4 weeks to get Travel Approval from China. Then about 3 weeks after that, we go! So we're looking at the middle of July for travel.

While we were at the hospital, other people were working on our behalf. Heath's brother's wife, along with many others from their church, plus some other friends and family, held a big bake sale at Walkersville Days, with all the proceeds going toward our adoption! We've had a couple other friends who held sales to raise money for us, plus we've had several friends and family donating directly. Not to mention all the people who are praying for us! We are so blessed! It is exciting to see the body of Christ working together to minister to a precious little orphan on the other side of the world . . . who won't be an orphan for long!

I'm hoping that things will settle down with Tabitha's needs, so that once we finish school (2 more weeks) I'll have some time to mentally and logistically prepare for Rayanna's arrival and our trip. It'll be here before we know it!

Home Sweet Home

2011-05-24T11:16:00.000-04:00

Tabitha and I were released from the hospital yesterday afternoon. The trip home was fine. She actually did really well sitting in her car seat and didn't complain about her bottom hurting until we were almost home. Thank you Lord for that! She was so happy to be out of there, and I was too! She just seemed so happy and relieved, and we had some really cute conversations on the way. (Heath and I have noticed something different about her voice and how she talks ever since the surgery. I have no idea why, but she has a different laugh, a different tone to her voice, and her speech is actually more clear than usual. We can't figure it out!) But, anyway, we had a good trip home.

The boys were really sweet to Tabitha when she got back, and she even shared some of her new gifts with them! Heath's working nights this week, but (being the awesome husband that he is) he rearranged his schedule so he could be there when we got home. He took care of Tabitha during the night so I could have a good night's sleep. I love that man!

It's amazing how getting out of the hospital changes your perspective. As soon as we started driving away I felt like it's all going to be OK. I think when you're surrounded by just the "yucky" hospital stuff, it begins to look like this huge insurmountable mountain. But once you're back in the big wide world, things get back into perspective and don't seem so terrible anymore. Plus, I have LOTS of people praying for me! (Thanks!) She did sleep a lot on the way home, and I had some good time to just think and pray. I'm feeling much more positive about all this medical stuff we have to deal with. I still don't like it, but I know that God will get us through and will use it for good. He's definitely working on my attitude. I listened to this song on the way home and want to share it here too:

We're Outta Here!!!!

2011-05-23T12:00:00.002-04:00

(well, almost)

Why I Love Hospitals

2011-05-23T07:34:00.001-04:00

There are so many perks about staying in a hospital that you just can't find anywhere else!

Where else can you have no responsibilities for any decisions? When to eat, when to pee, when to poop, when to take medicine . . . it's all decided for you!

Where else do people care so much about you that they're willing to check on you every hour, even if you're sound asleep? They even go so far as to stagger their visits just to make sure nothing comes up in between the hourly visits!

Where else can you feel so important that you have strangers visiting your living space in hordes, even if you're not dressed and it's 6 am? Where else do people feel so comfortable with your relationship that they don't even need to call first?

Where else do experts make all the decisions for you, and you don't even have to worry about whether or not you understand?

Where else can you not even worry about trash and laundry, knowing they will be emptied even in the middle of the night?

Where else do new people take 12-hour shifts for the chance to get to know you, and then, as soon as you're comfortable with them, they graciously give the next person a turn?

Where else can you wear a beautiful gown every day and not even worry about what it does or doesn't cover?

Where else does someone care enough to keep track of every thing that goes into and comes out of your body?

Where else can you hear an alarm every time your breathing changes or you move around?

Where else can you be sure not to oversleep, by having someone rearrange you every so often and give you the assurance that you're still breathing and your heart's still beating?

Where else do visitors put themselves on a nocturnal schedule, just so you can have a perky peppy voice come and dispel the darkness at 2 am?

Where else (besides jail) do you have to wait for permission to leave?

Ahhh....I just love hospitals.

She's Up!

2011-05-22T17:54:00.000-04:00

Tabitha and I just got back from a WALK down the hall! Actually, we went down our hall and around the corner down another hall and back. And I only held her arm. She held most of her own weight! Now, she did walk kind of like a saddle-sore drunkard, but it's progress! She was even asking to go farther, despite the fact that she was whimpering. She wants to ride the elevator, so I think after dinner we'll go for another walk.

I was feeling really discouraged about this this afternoon because she was getting angry and wouldn't even try. But she was so happy to be out of the room just now that I think she'll be more eager to try again next time. Thank you Lord for this big step! Hallelujah!

I Just Want Normal

2011-05-22T09:54:00.001-04:00

Feel free not to read this if you're not in the mood for griping and blunt honesty. And I preface this by saying I know I have things easy compared to much of the world's population, and I should be (and am) grateful for the wonderful blessings in my life. But these are the feelings I'm struggling with.

I am absolutely emotionally exhausted from everything having to do with Tabitha over the past 2 years. I love her and wouldn't trade her for the world, but I'm just tired. I just want "normal" life back. I feel like it's been one surprise after another from the adoption process to the bonding to the medical needs. And each surprise is a little worse than the one before it.

Mainly, it's the medical issues that I'm upset about. I know that in reality we're on a long road that has a good ending, but I feel like each step we make takes us farther from normal life. We were quite naive when we accepted a referral for a child with "repaired imperforate anus." I thought repaired meant repaired. Well....as of 6 days ago it's repaired the right way, and even that really doesn't mean anything. I thought we would need a quick surgery to remove her extra thumb, and she might need to take laxatives on a regular basis. HA! Surprise, surprise....that is NOT how it has been.

I could write a book on all the surprises we've been dealt, and how I've handled them (or not handled them). But the latest surprises are what's getting to me. We knew the ileostomy was a possibility, but I guess I was in denial that it would really happen. I've had great encouragement from friends, family, and parents experienced with this, and I know we will make it. The truth of the matter is, I DON'T WANT TO. There's a reason I didn't go into the medical field. I "don't do" gross bodily things. If only saying that would make it true. Unfortunately no matter how much I "don't do" this stuff, there's no getting out of it. I have to do it. Of course, a couple years ago I wouldn't have thought I could cath someone. A few months ago I swore I couldn't do enemas. And now I'm sure I can't handle an ostomy. And by that I don't mean that I am physically incapable of doing it; I mean that I'm emotionally incapable of doing it with a positive attitude.

In case the ostomy wasn't enough, there are a bunch of foods she can't eat while she has it. She'll also have 2 tubes coming from the bladder (through her SKIN) to drain stuff. So until the ostomy closure she'll have 2 additional holes/tubes in her belly, besides the ostomy. And the latest development (as of yesterday) is that we're also going home with 2 additional catheters (one from each ureter) that are also coming through holes in her belly. These will be removed at her post-op visit in 2 weeks. So going home, that's 4 holes in the belly, 5 tubes, 2 urine leg bags, the ostomy bag on her belly, and the other tube that drains who knows what into her diaper. And I was hoping for a date night when we got back, since I haven't seen my husband in almost 2 weeks. Yeah right.

I remember when she had her constant poopy diapers, how hard it was for me to snuggle her and enjoy holding her because of the smell. And now she's got bodily waste hanging off her body every which way. I'm not handling it well. I just want normal. This surgery was supposed to "fix" things (and rationally, I know it has), but I feel like we're worse off than we were before hand. I'm trying so hard to keep these feelings to myself and not give her any hint that I'm grossed out by all this. I put on my happy face (well, my grin-and-bear-it face) and do what needs to be done, praying that she won't catch a drift of how I'm feeling about it all.

I guess it wouldn't be that bad if we were just going to sit home all summer until she gets this thing reversed. But we can't do that. We do have to go out and about at times. We have church Day Camp next month. Are they going to handle an ostomy bag? Highly doubt it. We have a family reunion in July. Will I be able to relax and have fun having to deal with the bag and the fear it might leak? Highly doubt it. We're supposed to be going to China for another adoption in July. Do we want to be adding ostomy-reversal surgery and recovery to the difficult adoption adjustment period? Absolutely not. Is there anything good about this situation? Not a thing that I can think of.

I'm eager to get out of the hospital and back to normal life. But it hit me last night, we're not going back to normal life. We're bringing all of this hospital crap (figuratively and literally) back with us, except without the nurses to handle it for us. And that's just depressing. I'm angry and scared. I know I just need to buck up and trust God's grace to get me through. I know I need to end my pity party. I just don't know how. I kind of feel like even if I did choose to be happy and could successfully do it, it's a denial of how awful this really is. It would be fake, pretending that this isn't absolutely wreaking havoc on my life.

We'd been telling Tabitha about this surgery, that the doctors were going to fix her bottom. She was OK with that. But now her bottom hurts so much she can't even sit on the bed, her belly is in pain every time she moves. And as she just discovered yesterday, she has intestine sticking out a hole in her abdomen with nasty stuff coming out of it. Yesterday with tears in her eyes she said, "The doctor hurt my belly." She can't walk, she's in pain, she's got holes all over her body, she's got tubes and bags everywhere, and from her perspective, everything is a whole lot worse than it was before. And there's nothing I can do about it.

I know I should end this with a "But here's what God is doing in our lives through this..." The only words I can share are not my own. Like Job I must say, "Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" And like Paul, I cling to this truth: "Our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." God, fix my eyes on that eternal glory, and mold my heart to accept whatever you send my way. Amen.

Remember Those "This is Your Brain on Drugs" Commercials?

2011-05-21T19:51:00.000-04:00

Well . . . this is my daughter:

This is my daughter on drugs:

Any questions?

(This grumpy face was a candid shot; I didn't tell her to make it. It's just the attitude she's had today.)

Every time she gets her Valium she "passes out" within 10 minutes into a super deep sleep. Then she wakes up in a fowl mood. Once that wears off she's complaining about pain, then she gets her medicine and we start it all again. I'm hoping we can get off the Valium tomorrow and just have the Oxycodone.

We did go for a wagon ride, which she really enjoyed. We've had 3 attempts at walking, but I hold all her weight and she barely moves her feet and won't straighten her legs because it hurts her belly. Pray that she can do it tomorrow so we can get out of this place soon!

Slowly Getting Closer to Normal

2011-05-21T10:17:00.000-04:00

Yesterday they did take the monitors off of Tabitha. That made for a MUCH better night's sleep. No beeping and not the hourly checking by the nurses. She did wake up a few times (so I did too), but I slept like a rock in between and feel well-rested this morning. Tabitha slept until 8:00. Plus, I guess since it's the weekend, no doctors came at their usual 6 am time.

Yesterday there was a nursing student doing her clinicals here, and she spent most of the day with us. She was really sweet, and Tabitha really liked her. She filled up a Radio Flyer wagon with lots of pillows, and we put Tabitha in for a little ride. Tabitha did not like this idea. For some reason she just cried the whole time, not out of pain but more like anxiety. She said that she was scared but couldn't explain why. My only guess is that all the other times she's "wheeled" somewhere something not-so pleasant happens. So it wasn't the great outing we were hoping for, but at least she's left the room now. The Pain Management team came by last night and were pretty firm that she needs to get out of bed and walking today. I find that hard to imagine since she cries out every time I try to get her to sit up semi straight instead of leaning against the bed. She complains that her belly hurts, plus sitting up makes her bottom hurt too. (She has incisions on her bottom, as well as across her abdomen, and then internal cuts vertically up to the rib cage. So I can imagine she feels pretty much yucky everywhere.) She also has a bunch of tubes and bags connected to her, so it's not like I can easily maneuver her myself. Walking will have to be a major production with lots of assistants, and I'm doubting that Tabitha will want to participate. Pray for her today!

This morning she's eaten a little more than yesterday and seems more like herself. We had some fun moments, where she was actually laughing at me (until it hurt her belly). The only trouble with feeling closer to normal is that she now has the energy for bad moods. I don't know if it's when her medicine starts wearing off or what, but she gets into these foul moods, where she's just mean and demanding or else pathetic and whiny. I think it's more from the boredom and irritation than pain. My attitude (about the ileostomy and other stuff we have to deal with) also fluctuates, so I can't blame her too much though!

We spent most of the day yesterday watching Dora (the same DVD about 6 times). I returned it last night, hoping to get a different Dora, but I couldn't find any. So right now she's watching Strawberry Shortcake. But nothing keeps her happy like Dora.

So hopefully today she'll get out of the room a bit. I'm also hoping to brush her hair today which we haven't been able to do since she'll only lie on her back. Those are our goals. Thanks for the continued prayer and encouragement. And if anybody's in the area feel free to stop by today or tomorrow! =)

Food, Glorious Food!

2011-05-20T11:20:00.000-04:00

Tabitha can eat today! She enjoyed her apple juice yesterday, but now we're on to bigger and better things. They said she could pick whatever she wanted, and she chose a donut. Here she is enjoying it:

Last night was interesting. I guess she did well, all things considered. I found the bed rather comfortable. The only problem was every time I dozed off something would beep and wake me up! That finally stopped, but there were still nurses coming in every so often, which woke me up too. Tabitha slept through a lot of it, but did wake up in pain a few times. This morning the doctors started coming bright and early. Two of them visited us before 6:30! It's a little weird being sound asleep and having strangers walk in ready to talk to me. But, all in all, it was OK. Much better than some of the nights Heath had here! Tabitha complained of some pain earlier, but now she's happily eating. They're going to detach all the monitors today, and give her meds orally now, so she'll be free to get out of bed. They're planning a trip to the play room for later on. I'm not sure how that will go since she doesn't even sit up by herself yet. But we'll see. They want her to get moving around.

Right now she's painting a wooden turtle, and even laughed a little that I got paint on my hands. So I think she's feeling OK right now. Hopefully she'll just keep getting better!

Our Week

2011-05-19T16:52:00.000-04:00

Now that I have some uninterrupted time . . . (Does it really take a hospital stay to be able to read my email and update the blog with no one bugging me?!)

Anyway, I thought I'd write a little about what the boys and I did while Heath and Tabitha were away this past week. On one hand things were much calmer. I think each child exponentially increases the amount of bickering and stress, so having only two made things pretty easy. But we did miss Tabitha and Daddy a lot! It was great seeing them on skype!

Last Friday we went to the zoo with our friends/cousins. Other than 2/3 of the zoo closing early, we had a good time! Saturday the boys went to a friend's birthday party at the bowling alley, which they loved. And that evening we went to one of my former piano student's Eagle Scout ceremony. I didn't realize what a huge accomplishment that is! We're considering Boy Scouts for our boys, and I think that would be amazing if they could attain that status some day!

The rest of the time was fairly normal. Just school and chores and such. Ethan kept asking to invite people over because he was bored. But I enjoyed the peace and quiet! (Well, whenever the boys were outside, that is.) One fun part was our slumber party! Sunday night we all slept in the living room for a special treat. I had gotten Ben-Hur from the library because I like to get movies for whatever time period we're studying in school. It was mostly just for me; I didn't think they'd be interested. I put it on, thinking they'd fall asleep. But they loved it! It's 4 hours long, so we could only watch half the first night. The next day Ethan was begging to watch the rest. They were fascinated by it! There's one scene where, after Judah had refused to listen to Jesus teach, he carries his sister out of the lepers' cave. He didn't say where he was taking her (though it was implied he was taking her to Jesus). Jesse said excitedly, "I think he believes now!" It was really neat to see them interested in a movie that was more than just entertainment.

Wednesday night was their Awana awards ceremony. Jesse finished Cubbies this year, and Ethan completed his second year of Sparks. They've learned a lot of Bible verses, and I'm so thankful for the great program Awana is!

After the ceremony, they went home with Mommom & Granddad (Heath's parents), with fun plans for their two-night stay there.

So that was our week. Now I'm in for a very different kind of week! I think I have the easy part though...Heath was here for the hard part.

I'm so thankful for the ability to keep in touch with everyone on the internet. This would be a much longer, lonelier stay without that! I'm also extremely grateful for this hospital and the great doctors who are helping Tabitha, and for all the friends and family praying for her and us. Thank You, Lord!

I'm Here!

2011-05-19T16:35:00.000-04:00

I'm here with Tabitha! This morning I left at 4 am, had a perfectly peaceful all-by-myself drive, and arrived just after the nurses had taken out yet another failed IV. Tabitha was crying, so it wasn't quite the welcome I'd imagined, but she does seem glad to have me here. It's great to be with her, and I got to spend a couple good hours with Heath. Now he's on his way home.
:(

Since arriving, we've survived insertion of a new IV (NOT FUN!), and lessons on how to handle the ostomy bag. Heath was still here for that, and he did such a good job with it that I think he's awarded the special honor of doing it all the time! :) Actually, it doesn't seem like it will be all that bad. As long as it doesn't leak. It did leak this time, but the wound care nurse said it was because it had been on too long, and the sticky stuff wasn't as sticky as it should be. So if we change it often enough that shouldn't happen. It's supposed to last 3-5 days, but I might change it every hour just to be safe! ;-) We have to demonstrate that we can do it comfortably before being "released," so I guess by early next week I'll be an expert. She IS allowed to bathe and swim with it, so at least it shouldn't affect our summer too drastically.

Her bowels have started functioning, which means that she can now have clear liquids!!! Woo Hoo! No more sponge-water. She's been downing the apple juice like crazy, and enjoyed a popsicle too. Hopefully tomorrow she can start real food. If so, she won't need the IV for meds anymore because she'll be able to take them orally. That would be a relief since they keep failing.

Now, she's comfortably watching Dora, enjoying her balloons, stickers, cards, and Dora doll that various people have sent. So we're off to a good start. Dare I hope it stays this easy?

Wednesday

2011-05-18T21:59:00.000-04:00

Tabitha's doing OK today. She slept for a couple of longer stretches last night and has been awake for longer times today. She sat on Heath's lap for almost an hour, which was her first time out of bed. They wanted her to sit up, and also blow bubbles and breathe more, because her oxygen levels were low. I think they got that to improve. I last talked to them this afternoon, but I guess Heath's mom talked to them since then. She said the IV stopped working and they had to redo it. I'm sure that was not fun for anyone involved.

Heath's bored out of his mind and hasn't had any good sleep since Saturday night. I know he'll be very glad to get back to his precious Sleep Number bed! But he's been such a good daddy and taken such good care of Tabitha. No one could of done a better job being with her through all this, not even her mommy (who may have passed out several times by this point!) :)

The boys went to Heath's parents' tonight after their Awana awards ceremony. So I'm alone tonight. It's a strange feeling.....leaving the boys, getting ready to see Tabitha, getting ready to see Heath but only for a very brief time. It's like I'm homesick and I haven't even left yet! I'm just ready for us all to be together as a family again. I haven't even been at the hospital, but I feel kind of drained just from the emotions of it all I guess. Sure can't wait for it to be over. I'm sure Tabitha would agree!

Heath's mom sent balloons to her today. It was the first time Tabitha showed any excitement about anything and actually had a real smile! Hopefully she'll be smiling more and more each day. Thanks for the continued prayer and encouragement!

Today

2011-05-17T21:32:00.000-04:00

Not much new to share since this morning. Heath said Tabitha's been doing OK today. She's got a bit of a fever tonight again, which they're working on bringing down. She was having muscle spasms and itching, which can both be caused by morphine, so they've switched her to some other medicine. (Don't ask me the name!)

She's been in and out of sleep, the longest sleep being about an hour. Pray that she can sleep longer. When she's awake, she's OK but getting restless. Too sore to move but getting sick of lying still. That doesn't bode well for a week in the hospital. . . I hope she's able to get up by the time she really wants to.

That's all for now!

A New Day

2011-05-17T10:35:00.000-04:00

Just got to see and talk to Tabitha and Heath again. She seems much better this morning. Still in and out of sleep and uncomfortable, but she's more "with it" and not looking like a parched desert traveler. She's allowed to have a sponge of water to keep her mouth wet, but that's it for a couple more days. They're waiting for the bowels to resume function, which is supposed to take a couple of days. At that point she'll be able to eat and drink again.

Last night she had a fever and elevated heart rate, but today those are both down where they should be.

Pain management seems to be going well. She's got a nice little drug button to get more morphine as needed. The nurse even told Heath that they could push it more often because she's not using as much as she could be. They're adding some other drug, too, to keep her muscles relaxed because she's been having some involuntary abdominal contractions that aren't good for her healing.

I can't remember if I posted this or not, but she's got 4 tubes in her belly. Some are for draining urine, but I'm not sure what they're all for. She'll probably come home with 2 of them still there, to give everything more time to heal before using her bladder again.

So glad that today seems to be a lot better than last night. Praise the Lord for that! Keep Heath in your prayers too, since he's only getting short cat naps all night, and even those are on a very uncomfortable fold-out bed.

Tonight

2011-05-16T21:26:00.001-04:00

Please pray for Tabitha tonight if you're awake. I just got off Skype with them, and she looks so miserable. She's in and out of consciousness on the morphine, but what breaks my heart is that she can't have anything even to drink (let alone eat)! Heath wasn't exactly sure why she couldn't drink or for how long. I know they had to make an incision in the bladder in addition to all the bowel stuff, so maybe that's it. He's going to see if she can at least wet her mouth. She just keeps asking for water. It's probably a good thing I'm not there because the Mama Bear in me is ready to go attack whoever it is that's keeping my baby from having a drink! She was barely awake enough to talk at all, so I said good night and hopefully they'll be able to get some rest. Nothing I can do but pray.

It's Over!

2011-05-16T19:01:00.001-04:00

Heath called about 6:30 to say that the surgery was over, but that he wasn't allowed back to see her yet. By now, he's probably with her as she's waking up.

Dr. Levitt said everything went beautifully. Praise the Lord for that! It took longer because of all the "creating" they had to do. They had to take bits of this to make pieces of that and so forth. They discovered that the original pull-thru surgery (to correct the imperforate anus) was poorly done, so he had to totally redo that. So it's much better than it was before, but we won't know whether or not she has bowel control for awhile. I'm not sure how that determination is made....hopefully we'll get more information over the next couple days. Dr. Breech said that the gynecological part was successful, and she should be able to get pregnant someday. There are 4 tubes in her belly right now for various things, which should come out during this next week. Estimated hospital stay is at least a week.

The only bad news (from my perspective) is that they did have to do an ileostomy (same thing as a colostomy, except coming from the small intestine rather than the large). She'll need to have this reversed in about 6-8 weeks (just about the time we go to China....that should be interesting). I'm trying really hard not to pout like a spoiled child, but I'd been praying and praying that she wouldn't have to have this. Of course, I was also praying that if she did have it God would give me the grace to handle it, and I'm sure He will. I've had a few different people whose kids have had one assure me that it's no big deal. And I guess they're right...we'll get used to it just like we got used to the cathing and the enemas. But I'm pretty mad and scared and just plain grossed out about it right now.

So, other than my pouting about the ileostomy, everything is good. I thank God that the surgery was successful, she's safe, and her physical body is (well, will be once she heals) better than it's ever been in the past. There's much to rejoice about!

Please keep praying, as I'm sure these next few days will be tough for her. Thanks so much for all the prayer today. We really appreciate it!

Waiting

2011-05-16T17:38:00.000-04:00

It's 5:30, and I just talked to Heath. He hasn't heard anything all day except that "things are going fine." It's been 8 hours. I'm getting impatient; I can't imagine how Heath is feeling sitting in the waiting room all day. Fortunately Tabitha is asleep and has no concept of how long this is taking!

Better a long wait than a rushed job I guess.

In the O.R.

2011-05-16T10:38:00.000-04:00

Tabitha's in surgery now. The estimated time is 7 hours, and there are almost a dozen people participating in the surgery! If it goes longer, she may have to be in the ICU tonight, due to the long anesthesia time.

Heath wasn't allowed to hold her while she went to sleep, like we have in the past. I guess they do the anesthesia in the sterile operating room, so he couldn't go in. But he said she went with the nurse without crying, and he didn't hear any crying through the door. That's amazing because in the past she's fought tooth and nail against the anesthesia mask! So hopefully she just calmly went to sleep!

I think we must be more strongly bonded than we were for her last surgery: during the previous ones I was very matter-of-fact about it, not too worried. This time I'm much more emotionally invested. Maybe it's because it's a huge surgery, maybe it's because I'm not there with her. But last night I was feeling almost sick to my stomach thinking about all she's going through. It's probably good I'm NOT there because I may well have passed out by this point! This morning I'm more at peace, and I know the Lord is watching over her, and she is completely in His hands.

Thanks so much to everyone that's praying for her and us. It means a lot!

I'll try to update again tonight.

First Day as an In-Patient

2011-05-15T18:09:00.000-04:00

Heath and Tabitha had a nice Saturday visiting the zoo and relaxing. Today they checked into the hospital. The reason for going a day early is to do a bowel clean-out, so that she'll be totally empty for tomorrow's surgery. We didn't realize the method for this clean-out though. I thought it would either be an enema or a drink that cleans out her system. But I guess those methods aren't thorough enough. They actually put a tube in through her nose, down to her stomach. Whatever's in it cleans out her entire digestive tract so there's nothing in it by tomorrow. Heath said she threw a fit when they put the tube in (of course). She actually rubbed her nose and pulled it out, and they had to redo it. But the second one they taped down really well, and she hasn't touched it since. She's only allowed to have water, which I would've thought would be a lot worse than it has been. Heath said she hasn't been asking for food, and is doing really well.

So, they've spent a long boring day in the hospital room. Watching Dora, making crafts, and sleeping. And the boys and I talked to them on Skype for awhile, which is really fun. (They're really bored, so feel free to use Skype if you want to talk to them and see them too! And if you don't know what Skype is . . . it's a free service for video phone calls over the internet.)

Tomorrow will be the big day. The surgery prep is supposed to start at 8 I think, with the actual surgery at 9:00. It should probably take about 4-6 hours. Please keep praying with us.

It's hard not being there, but I'm glad she has such a wonderful daddy to be with her right now. Can't wait to see them both!

Tabitha's Day

2011-05-13T21:44:00.000-04:00

Heath and Tabitha left for Cincinnati yesterday afternoon. They made it fine, with a fairly uneventful drive. It's been weird not having them here! I mean, usually I go away with the kids and leave Heath home. It's strange being left behind, and not having the two of them here!

Today Tabitha had her cloacalgram. This is a procedure under anesthesia that puts contrast solution into her and makes a 3D picture of everything inside. That way when they do the surgery on Monday, they'll know exactly where they're going. The procedure went fine, but Heath took a beating when she woke up afterward! She woke up pretty fast after the anesthesia and, even though she was conscious, wasn't all "with it." She was quite upset and flailing around, managing to leave some good claw marks on Heath. After a bit she calmed down and was fine after that.

The rest of the day was OK for them, except for the after-effects of all that contrast enema coming out, and not necessarily when and where it should! I have to say I'm not sorry I missed that part! My husband is amazing and handles all that kind of stuff much better than I do.

The boys and I went to the zoo with some friends today. When we got home we got to talk to Heath and Tabitha on Skype and actually see them! I may be behind the times, but I thought that was really amazing! Tomorrow Tabitha doesn't have anything going on, so Heath's going to take her to the zoo there. I hope they enjoy their day because Sunday starts life at the hospital.

For anyone praying for us, here are some specific requests:

safe travel to/from Ohio

wisdom and skill for the doctors

no need for a colostomy (Depending on what they find during surgery, she may need this temporarily.)

an outcome that leads to eventual bowel control (She currently has no ability for bowel control. With surgery her chances are 50/50.)

pain management during recovery (the surgery is extensive, and I imagine healing will be quite painful for awhile)

the hospital stay (She'll stay up to 10 days in the hospital afterward, and only be fed by a picc line, which I'm sure she won't like. Also, I imagine it'll get boring being stuck there that long!)

peace for her and for us

anything else I'm forgetting that we should be praying for!

Please thank God with us too:

We have excellent insurance and they agreed to cover this, even though it's out of network.

We were able to get in now, instead of waiting until late summer like we originally thought we'd have to.

That we even found the Colorectal Center, which is probably the best place in the world for handling her conditions!

Tabitha's a tough little cookie and has come through all her other procedures very well.

I'm also very thankful for living in this time in history. Not only do we have medical procedures that can accomplish amazing things, not only are we able to learn from people we've never met because of the internet, not only can we easily travel across several states to get Tabitha the help she needs, but we can even SEE and talk to each other while we're apart. As much as I often say I'd love to have lived in an earlier, simpler time, there are definite benefits to living in the 21st century!

Celebrations Galore!

2011-05-12T20:00:00.000-04:00

These past few days have been full of celebrations. Saturday was Tabitha's birthday party, Sunday was Mother's Day, Monday was my birthday, and Tuesday was Tabitha's birthday! Lots of fun, but after 4 days of celebrating I was sure happy to have no more special occasions!

For my birthday Heath and the kids took me out to dinner in downtown Frederick. It was a beautiful day, and we enjoyed a nice walk along the canal there too. Here's us on my birthday.

Tabitha had her "Dora" party on Saturday, and we had a mini celebration as a family on Tuesday, her actual birthday. It's hard to believe Tabitha's 4! Somehow in my mind I still think of her as the two-year-old we adopted a year and a half ago. She's grown up so much in the past 18 months....physically, emotionally, mentally. With the speech issues and the diaper issues I think I've still been seeing her as a toddler. But watching her ride her new "big girl bike" today, I realized that she's a "big kid" now!

I'm hoping for a wonderful 5th year for Tabitha. She's starting off the year with major surgery in a few days, but hopefully the rest of her year will be much more enjoyable. I'm looking forward to starting her officially in preschool (at home) this fall. She sees the boys doing their school work and loves to do her version of school work, so I think it will be really fun for her to have real assignments and learn all the fun stuff kids learn in preschool. She'll also become a big sister this year! Of course she has mixed feelings about that, but overall we're excited for her to have another girl in the family.

It'll be an exciting year for all of us, I'm sure. And I can only imagine how much Tabitha will continue to grow and change during this next year of her life.

Happy Birthday, Sweetheart. We love you.

Birthday Present from the US Government!

2011-05-09T15:56:00.000-04:00

We've been expecting to get our I800 provisional approval for the past 2 weeks. Today it finally came!! Right on my birthday! I guess they were just taking their time so I'd have a nice birthday present. =)

This is USCIS' approval for us to adopt Feng Hao De (Rayanna) and bring her into this country. So I just mailed that, along with a bunch of other paperwork, to our agency. They'll send it on to China. Then we wait for approval from the US Consulate in Guangzhou. Then China gives us permission to travel. Then we go! It's looking like it'll be July.

Very excited!!

Sun, Sand, Waves, and Relatives

2011-05-01T12:01:00.001-04:00

The kids and I just got back from a wonderful week at the beach with the Stuenzi clan. There were about 30 of us there this time, out of 50-something total. As always, it was a lot of fun! We spent hours on the beach, played lots of games, had great conversations, ate tons of food, and even had an evening of "Minute to Win It" (compliments of Cousin Kaylin). I missed Heath being there, since he had to stay home and work. But it was a really nice break and lots of fun. I'm so thankful for the wonderful relatives I'm blessed to have.

Here are some pictures to summarize the week.

Christ is Risen, He is Risen Indeed!

2011-04-24T13:32:00.002-04:00

Mail

2011-04-23T21:01:00.000-04:00

When I checked the mail yesterday we had an envelope from the "Department of Homeland Security: Adoptions." I was all excited that it was going to be our I-800 approval (the last thing we need before we can send in our next batch of documents in order to get our travel approval). It was on the official green paper that our I-800A approval came on, so I when I opened it I was still excited. But, alas, when I started reading it I found out it was only notice that they had received our form and were processing it. It's supposed to take 2-3 weeks, so it could happen anytime now. We've got everything else together in an envelope, ready to be mailed the second we receive the approval!

Getting excited!!!

Inspiring Quote for Stay-At-Home-Moms

2011-04-17T14:59:00.000-04:00

“It is not difficult to see why … the female became the emblem of the universal. … Nature …. surrounded her with very young children, who require being taught not so much anything as everything. Babies need not to be taught a trade, but to be introduced to a world. To put the matter shortly, woman is generally shut up in a house with a human being at the time when he asks all the questions that there are, and some that there aren’t. It would be odd if she retained any of the narrowness of a specialist. Now if anyone says that this duty of general enlightenment … is in itself too exacting and oppressive, I can understand the view. I can only answer that our race has thought it worth while to cast this burden on women in order to keep common-sense in the world. … How can it be a large career to tell other people’s children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one’s own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No. A woman’s function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute."

~G.K. Chesterton

Insurance Approval!

2011-04-09T00:38:00.000-04:00

Hallelujah!!!

We just found out that we have insurance approval for Tabitha's surgery!! This is a big answer to prayer in so many ways. The most important thing is that she'll be done with this surgery before the next adoption. And now we can go ahead and make plans for Cincinnati next month. Wow...only a month away!

So, she'll have some testing on Friday, May 13th, check into the hospital on Sunday, May 15th, and the surgery will be on Monday, May 16th. She'll need to stay anywhere from 4 to 10 days after surgery, depending on how fast she heals and whether or not she has a colostomy. Then she'll have to come back on June 3rd for a post-op visit. Lots of time in Ohio, but at least it's a drivable distance away, not so far that we have to fly! Please thank the Lord with us for the insurance approval!

Her surgery is called posterior sagittal anorectovagino-urethroplasty (PSARVUP). Feel free to look it up or email me if you want details. But basically they'll be repositioning all her "parts".  She currently has no possibility for bowel control; after the surgery she might or might not. It is definitely our prayer that she will have bowel control, but I'm trying to be prepared to handle either outcome. Also, she might have to have a temporary colostomy after surgery, depending on how healthy the tissue is. The colostomy would give everything more time to heal before being used. But that is really, really, REALLY not something I want to deal with. So please pray that it wouldn't happen, or that God would pour a whole lot of grace on me to be able to handle that. Because right now I really don't feel like I can. On the other hand, if she doesn't have a colostomy, she won't be able to eat for 7-10 days, and would be "fed" through an IV. That doesn't sound very pleasant either.

Right now the plan is for Heath to go out with her the first few days, while the boys and I finish up some things here. Then he'll come home to be with the boys/back to work, and I'll go out to be with Tabitha for the second half of her stay. It won't be the fun family trip it was last time...just a long hospital stay.  It's not really a fun thing to be looking forward to, but I'm so thankful for the insurance approval and that we can get this over with!

Please be praying for Tabitha. She's old enough to remember and understand somewhat, but still not able to express herself verbally very well. So it's kind of hard to have a real conversation with her about it. Plus, not knowing what the outcome will be as far as colostomy or not, bowel control or not, it's hard to explain the reasons for it. And of course, the recovery will probably be rough on her. She's a tough little girl, so hopefully she'll handle it well.

Thanks for praying with us and supporting us with all this!

We have LOA (LSC)!

2011-04-05T13:42:00.000-04:00

We have just received our official letter from China: "Letter of Seeking Confirmation from Adopter." This is China telling us that we've been officially matched with Rayanna. Now we have to sign it to say, "Yes, we really want her." We can also now file our I-800, which is the application to the US Government: "Petition to Classify Convention Adoptee as an Immediate Relative." Once that's OK'd, we send the US approval and the signed letter back to China. Then we get approval from the US Consulate in China, then China officially invites us to travel to come get our daughter. About 3 weeks after that, we GO!

So I was just doing the math on the estimated time frames for all of that. The LOA came on the fast end of what's expected! So, if everything else went super fast we COULD travel in June. BUT, it'll probably be July. And I'm going to emotionally plan on August so that I won't throw a hissy fit if we hit delays. :)

There are a couple important things this summer that we'll need to work around (Taylor-Side Family Reunion and Cousin Beth's wedding), so hopefully there won't be any complications with any of that.

I can't believe we're getting this close! We still need to get her room finished, find baby clothes, find the rest of the money, and make sure we're ready! I feel like with Tabitha's adoption I was just waiting and waiting and so frustrated with how long it took. This time I feel like it's FLYING by! The process has gone a little faster this time, but I think we're just 10x busier than we were before and haven't had time to get fully ready, let alone impatient!

One of the major things keeping us busy is Tabitha's medical stuff. We're still waiting for insurance approval for her surgery scheduled for May 16th. Please continue to pray we get that, because otherwise she probably won't be able to have the surgery before the adoption, and that will just make everything so much harder.

God did answer a prayer about insurance today though. Last week we received a bill from the hospital for over $9,000 that wasn't being covered by insurance. Lovely. That didn't include the doctors' bills and wasn't even surgery or anything--just some tests! Anyway, we knew we had insurance approval and they should be covering it, but I was imagining this big long battle and many hours on the phone and all that. But Pam at the Colorectal Center (who had helped us get the insurance approval originally), called the insurance company for me, found out it was a mistake, and said that they will get it fixed. And I didn't have to do anything!!! If you knew how much stress the thought of those phone calls was adding to my life, you'd know God just sent a wonderful blessing through Pam. =)

Another prayer request is that we applied for an adoption grant from The Lydia Fund. It would be a great help if they say yes! But of course, there are many adoptive parents applying, and some might need it even more than we do. So my prayer is for wisdom for the people making the decisions, that God would direct them to make the best choices about the money.

Oh! I almost forgot! Now that we have LOA we're allowed to post whatever information we want about our daughter! So Rayanna's Chinese name is Feng Hao De (fung how duh). Her new name will be Rayanna Haode Runkles. Her birthdate is 03/21/10. (Ethan's is 10/21/03, so I thought that was pretty cool)! She was believed to be found on the day she was born, so her birthdate is probably exact instead of an estimate. She lives in the Fengxin Welfare Institue in Jiangxi Province. AND WE GET TO MEET HER IN JUST A FEW MONTHS!!!!

Jesse & Jesus

2011-04-01T15:42:00.000-04:00

Well, when Ethan accepted Christ it was all on his own and I was surprised to miss out on the "big moment" and hear about it later. And now . . . . it appears Jesse has done the same thing!

We were working on his Awana Cubbies activity, where he was supposed to draw a Bible. When he was done he showed it to me. It was a Bible with a picture of Jesus on the cross. I told him I thought that was the most important story in the whole Bible, and he said, "I know."

In the past he's always seemed to understand the basics about Jesus and salvation but never showed any desire to make it personal. This time, I asked him why he thought that was the most important part of the Bible and he said, "because He took away our sin." So I asked him if he had asked Jesus to take away his sin, and he said, "Yeah, a long time ago when nobody could hear me."

I asked him a few more questions about it, and he does really understand that Jesus died in our place and we are forgiven because of what He did. Then he prayed the sweetest little prayer. "Dear God, [hesitation] I mean . . . dear Jesus, thank you for dying for me. Please take away my sins and help me follow you." Then I told him I was very excited that he's a Christian and we'll all be together with Jesus forever. And his response was, "Yeah, I can kind of feel Him in my heart now." =) Gotta love those Christianese sayings that kids take so literally!

The faith of a child is so precious. I had to bite my tongue not to try to go through all the theology, soteriology, eschatology, etc., to make sure he understands everything. I tend to want to complicate things. But I know that while God certainly wants us to seek to know and understand Him better, He also wants us to have the simple trusting faith of a child. Such a wonderful thing to witness.

Now we have both of our sons "in the fold," and I'm very excited to watch them grow and see how God directs their lives and continues to draw them to Himself.

Shout joyfully to God, all the earth; sing the glory of His name; make His praise glorious. Say to God, "How awesome are Your works!" Psalm 66:1-3

Hurry TA!

2011-04-01T15:29:00.000-04:00

We just found out that China is once again making adoption harder. I don't understand why, but it seems they keep adding requirements. The new application requirements won't affect us since we're already logged in, but it might affect our post-placement requirements.

Right now, China requires two post-placement reports (one at 6 months and one at 1 year). If we get our Travel Approval before the end of July we'll be in on the old system (even if we travel in August). But if we don't get approval by then, we'll have to go by the new rules which require SIX post-placement reports, the last one being FIVE YEARS after bringing the child home! Also, they would require 8 photos, a doctor's evaluation, and a teacher's evaluation with each report. Ugh. I'd like to think that once we bring our child home we're pretty much done with paperwork, agency fees, etc. But if we don't make it under the deadline we'll have to do all this. Worth it of course, but just one more hassle.

So, join us in praying for smooth sailing with the rest of our processing and for Travel Approval before the end of July!!

Todd

2011-03-29T10:08:00.000-04:00

Todd is a little boy that my parents have had as a foster child for the past two years. They got him when he was first released from the hospital. He's Native American, from the Omaha Tribe. Apart from brief visits with his birth parents, my parents are the only parents he's ever known.

My siblings are the same people he knows as his siblings, and his home is with them. My own kids jokingly refer to him as "Uncle Todd." =)

He has brought so much laughter and joy to my parents and my brothers and sisters still living there. He's brought a new sense of youthfulness and fun to my dad, and filled my mom's days with what she loves most--taking care of little ones.

Unfortunately, since my parents are not from the Tribe, they are not allowed to adopt him, though they would in a heartbeat. They've known this all along, and yet the "system" has done great injustice to everyone involved. For two years, the people in charge have said they would find an Indian family to be his foster or adoptive parents. So several times a family was presented, they'd think Todd would be moving away, and then that family wouldn't work out for some reason, and he'd stay longer with my parents. Of course, all this time he was growing older and becoming more attached. My parents had been hoping to get permanent guardianship even though they couldn't adopt, and that did look hopeful for awhile.

But now a family has been found. A family from the Tribe. My parents met them, and they do seem to be a good family, and Todd should have a good life with them. But it angers me that this process has taken two years. I'm angry that because of politics a child's life has been toyed with like this. I'm grieved for a little boy who is being taken away from the only family he knows, who can't possibly understand why at his young age. And I'm grieved for my parents who are losing a child. While they knew this was to be temporary, that didn't at all lessen the love they have for Todd or the whole-hearted way they have cared for him these past two years. They are very selfless people to even do foster care at all, and to have Todd as their son for two years and then have to let him go has to be heartbreaking. My siblings that live in Omaha have also embraced him and come to love him as part of the family. Even from here in Maryland I'm so saddened by the thought that he won't be there next time we go to visit.

While we trust in God's plan for Todd's life, it's so hard to see how all this can be for the good. But, Mom and Dad, I know Todd is richer for the time he has spent with you. I know firsthand what a blessing it is to have you as parents, even if it was only for his first couple years. And I pray that as he goes on to a new chapter of life, he will always carry with him the loving foundation he started with.

We'll miss you, Little Toddy.

Happy Birthday, Rayanna!

2011-03-25T16:31:00.000-04:00

Rayanna turned one this week! It stinks not being able to be with her to celebrate, but we did have a cake and some gifts sent to her. I don't think she was all that thrilled about the cake, but at least the day had a little something special for her. Gotta love the outfit and birthday crown. =)

Happy Birthday, Sweetheart! We can't wait to meet you!

Frustrated

2011-03-24T21:39:00.000-04:00

After my last post I realized I haven't been keeping this blog updated about how the bowel management program has been going for Tabitha. So for those who want to know the details of our lives, and for the other IA moms reading this for medical reasons, I wanted to post an update. (It's not a real pleasant one, so don't feel obligated to read it!)

When I wrote from Cincinnati everything was going well, and I thought "We're going home, no more diapers, I'll get used to this enema thing, and all will be well! Yay!" And it was. . . . for a couple weeks. But then she started to have accidents. For the past 3 weeks we've been having problems, and Tabitha's been back in diapers. We've been emailing back and forth with the nurse at the colorectal center, getting x-rays to check for constipation, adjusting the enema dosage, and becoming very frustrated! (Well, that last part is just me.....Tabitha and Heath are fine. But I am anything BUT!)

We're going to try another adjustment tomorrow, and we're supposed to feed her lots of yogurt/pro-biotics, and hopefully get this under control. It's just so frustrating because I thought our Cincinnati trip was the answer and we weren't going to have to deal with this anymore. But, it seems like ever since deciding to adopt Tabitha, I keep learning more as we go along, and most of what I learn just makes it worse. Ignorance sure was bliss. I have to admit, it's definitely better than it was before bowel management. She no longer has constant leakage and the foul smell that followed her everywhere. Now it's just occasional accidents. But since we don't know when those accidents will happen, she has to wear diapers, and we always have to be prepared.

If she does get to have surgery next month, that will be great, but it will also mean re-doing all this enema stuff to find what works for her new anatomy. I feel like her medical needs are overshadowing everything else in our lives right now. I spend hours online chatting and researching all her various ailments, in addition to the daily enemas, cathing, doctors appointments, and other things that cause me stress. Today started with her x-ray, then her speech therapy, and then spending the entire afternoon at Johns Hopkins (2 hours of driving, 1.5 hours in the waiting room, 1 hour in the doctors office). Fortunately Heath was home today because of the rain and SNOW (yes, snow, but that's for another gripe session), so he helped out with a lot of the day's stuff. But all that, plus the fact that she might end up with a temporary colostomy after the surgery is just not making me feel real positive right now. I could definitely use some help with my attitude. Overall it's been a good week, but today I'm just really discouraged about it all.

Sorry to write such a negative post, but I want to keep my blog "real", and that's how I'm feeling today. Hopefully a good night's sleep will help.

On the positive side, Tabitha is pretty oblivious to all this. She's not bothered by the diapers, handles the enemas and catheters fine, and thinks going to the doctor is a fun "bye bye" trip. So if Mama could just stop pouting and have a good attitude like my daughter, we'd be doing pretty well!

Prayer for Medical Stuff

2011-03-23T14:22:00.001-04:00

I don't think I've posted any of the latest information about Tabitha's medical plans. Back in February when we were at Cincinnati Children's Hospital, I posted that they wanted to do her next surgery in the summer. Well, it turns out they actually have an opening in May! This would be perfect because we could get the surgery over with and have plenty of time for recuperation before we leave for China. So, we are tentatively scheduled for her surgery to be on May 16th. HOWEVER, they're still waiting on insurance approval. Last time insurance delayed us for 6 months. We're hoping that since they already approved it once, this time they'll say OK without all the hassle. Please pray with us for that to happen. The hospital financial person said they should probably hear from the insurance company around the first week of April. So just pray that it's approved and we can go in May.

We're also praying for wisdom on who goes with Tabitha and who stays here. Lots to think about with Heath's work, and mine and the boys' activities. It'll be another long stay, probably close to 2 weeks again.

And please be praying for Tabitha. This surgery will be pretty intense, and the recovery will be a lot more involved than her other surgeries have been.

Thanks!

New Babies!

2011-03-22T14:37:00.000-04:00

No....we haven't adopted early or anything. We have baby CHICKS! Heath's sister Amanda was kind enough to give us eggs to raise, and yesterday they started hatching! We've been studying birds in science this year, so this was a very fitting experiment. I'd been praying we'd have at least a few of the 18 hatch, and I was worried they might not. (I tend to kill every plant I touch, so I was hoping I wouldn't have the same effect on chickens.) Anyway, so far 7 of them have hatched. And if you've never seen anything hatch out of an egg, you should! It's quite an amazing example of God's creation! They are quite cute, and the kids and Heath and I are really enjoying them. We're only going to keep them for a couple of weeks, as I'm not ready for full-blown chicken raising yet. But this has definitely been a fascinating experience! Thanks, Amanda! =)

(See my facebook page for a video of one of them hatching.)

Wonderful Weekend!

2011-03-20T19:37:00.000-04:00

This weekend has been one of the best I've had in a long time! For one, the weather has been phenomenal! Spring started today, but the beautiful weather started Friday. Bright and sunny, warm and wonderful!

Friday the boys showed up in the living room in their swimsuits ready for a dip in the stream. They had a blast, despite the fact that it was still technically winter!

Saturday morning I went to a clothing swap at a church in Frederick and got all this stuff absolutely FREE!!

Saturday afternoon we spent at a friend's house, with the kids playing in their stream and all of us enjoying more gorgeous weather. (Sorry...no pictures from that.)

Today after church we had a family outing. We got free Italian Ice at "The Meadows" custard shop, and then we spent a couple hours at our property. We walked through the woods, the boys found the perfect spot for their future fort, Tabitha "helped" Mommy over all the tough spots along the path, Heath built rock bridges to get us across the streams, and we all enjoyed dreaming of our future home there. It was such a nice, relaxing family day, and I really had a great time!

I guess I'm a simple sort of person, but this is the kind of weekend that means the most to me. Enjoying life's simple pleasures with my family. I feel truly refreshed!

"Every good and perfect gift is from above and comes down from the Father . . . " James 1:17

Update on Rayanna!

2011-03-18T21:05:00.000-04:00

A few days ago we ordered some gifts and a birthday cake to be sent to Rayanna because she turns one next week! We also sent some family pictures and some questions for the orphanage staff to answer. Here's what we found out (some phrasing is strange after coming through translation, but you can get the basic idea):

Her referral included some comments on her medical report which questioned her hearing and mental capabilities. There were no details or explanation, but it was enough to get her put on the special needs list. Her caretakers' response when we asked about this was, "We never made the medical exam on her intelligence. Her hearing is good. Nannies said she is as lovely and smart as other kids." A couple sentences translated from Chinese isn't much to go on so we'll try to be prepared for anything, but that is very encouraging!

Does she say any words yet? She starts to make some sounds she pronounce and studying to talk.

What is her personality like? She is introvert and quiet. She is a little scare to the strangers. This sounds like quite the opposite of our little Tabitha. Maybe they'll balance each other out and get along great!

What are her favorite foods? Her mainly food is the baby formula mix with rice cereals.

The orphanage director said that they'll arrange the birthday party for her with the cake we sent. We also ordered a disposable camera, so hopefully they'll take a lot of pictures!

It's been almost 3 weeks since our pre-approval, and it's supposed to take anywhere from 1-3 months from PA to get to the next step, our Letter of Acceptance. Could be coming soon!

Half Way There!

2011-03-16T15:13:00.000-04:00

If you notice the thermometer on the left side of this blog, you'll see that we're more than half way to our fundraising goals! When we started the thermometer we had exhausted our personal resources but still needed to come up with $15,000 to pay for the rest of the adoption. Since then (in less than 2 months) over $2,500 has been given to us by family, friends, and even acquaintances! We are so thankful for each dollar given and each word of encouragement shared. God has also been providing Heath with extra work, which should help us a lot in coming up with the rest of the money.

There have been many times in life where I've panicked about money, but somehow God always provides. I think this is the first time where I'm actually excited that we're only a few months from the deadline of such a significant amount, and I don't know where it's all going to come from. I'm having FUN watching God provide! I was telling my friend Joy the other day that it's been so neat to see God working in this. If we just had the money sitting around, we would be missing out on an amazing experience: the experience of seeing the body of Christ work together not only to help us out, but to carry God's love for orphans to the other side of the world. It truly is a wonderful thing, and I'm excited to see how He will provide every last penny!

Speaking of orphans on the other side of the world, please be praying for Ethiopia. Their government is severely cutting back on adoptions, meaning so many more orphans won't have families. There are many people in high places trying to persuade them otherwise, for the benefit of the children. Please join us in praying for orphans there, as well as all over the world. God is the one who "places the lonely in families." (See Psalm 68:6). Pray that He would intervene and bring more of these precious children into families of their own.

Thanks again for all the prayers, encouragement, and financial support. We are truly blessed!

Alternative Heating Pays Off

2011-03-05T21:08:00.000-05:00

The work of my ingenious husband....

Enough said.