Insurance Woes

Please pray with us this week! We've been planning to take Tabitha to Cincinnati Children's Hospital for tests and their bowel management program. As far as we know this is the only place of its kind in the world. Last month we found out the insurance company doesn't want to cover it because it's out of network. They claim we can get the same services here at Hopkins, but we don't believe that's true. Saturday we got the official letter saying that this would not be covered. We can appeal, but we're supposed to be going out there August 19th, so it's unlikely they would resolve it that quickly.

We do have someone at Cincinnati working on this for us. She has asked for a "peer review" and is hoping to change their minds. If it's resolved this week, we can keep our appointments. If not, we'll have to continue working on the insurance issue and reschedule if/when we get it approved.

Meanwhile, Tabitha has chronic constipation, and we have many unanswered questions about her care. Those of you who pray for us, please pray specifically for the people at the insurance company who are making the decision and the people "on our side" trying to get the approval. If they say no, pray that God shows us the reason for it and where He would have us seek help. Thanks so much.

Other than the digestive issues, Tabitha's health is great. We thank God for things not being any worse! She's continuing to adjust to us, and we to her, and we're feeling more and more like family all the time. Thanks for all the prayer and support!

Tennis & Swimming

This summer the boys each took two weeks of lessons. Ethan did tennis, and Jesse did swimming. They both loved it!

Ethan is really coming out of his shell, and was actually excited to be doing a group activity!

Jesse has suddenly become very interested in swimming and had a blast in his class.

It's been fun watching them learn and have so much fun!

Hide-And-Seek Gone Bad

Our household safety rules have usually been fairly simple. You know . . . no shooting your brother with the BB gun, no running with scissors, no going anywhere with strangers, that sort of thing. Well, we now have official rules for hide-and-seek. You'd think that would be a fairly safe game, but yesterday it caused the scariest hour of my entire life.

This weekend the kids and I went up to visit relatives in Pennsylvania for my cousin's graduation party. We had a great weekend spending time with aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends. I'm very thankful we got to go!

But Saturday evening included an hour or so of very unwanted adventure. My aunt and uncle live on a huge piece of land, and their house is surrounded by fields and woods. We were all sitting around talking and eating, and the 20 or so kids were all playing in various places. I was on the porch and every few minutes I'd do a kid count to make sure all three of them were still within eyesight. Sometimes they'd go around the side of the house to the sand box and trampoline, but I could always find them pretty easily. Well, one time I looked up and noticed Jesse wasn't on the playground where he'd been swinging a few minutes ago, but Ethan and Tabitha were still there. After a few minutes I went to look for him by the sandbox but couldn't find him. There were some people playing volley ball up by the old barn, so I looked with them and in the barn. One of my cousins said she saw the little boys playing inside, so I figured he must be in there. But then I saw the other boys outside, so I figured I'd better go inside and make sure. He wasn't in the playroom or the boys' bedroom. I mentioned it nonchalantly to a couple of my aunts who were in the living room, and then I went back outside to make another round. I was getting a little confused, but figured I just hadn't looked everywhere yet. When I still didn't see him outside, I went back to check the house more thoroughly. This time my aunts spread the word, and I soon had a bunch of people checking all the bedrooms, closets, under beds, etc. By the time I came downstairs and no one had seen him I was starting to get concerned. My aunt saw me getting teary eyed, prayed quickly with me, and sent people off to check freezers, boxes, etc. Word spread quickly, and soon all the 50 or so people at the party were starting to look. As I went on another round of the property, I heard Jesse's name being called all over the place. People were checking the barn, the garage, the shed, the play areas, the dozens of cars. No one saw him. By this time I was really worried. My thoughts were a jumble. On the one hand, I figured we just hadn't thought of every place he could be--of course he's around here somewhere. On the other hand, I was remembering all those abduction stories and imagining myself as a parent of a kidnapped child and thinking about how I could never survive something like that. I had cousins taking care of Tabitha for me, and Ethan was helping to look. I really tried hard not to let him see that I was worried, but I could tell he was getting worried just by seeing all these people searching. My uncle called friends who had already left to make sure he hadn't hidden in a car and accidentally rode away with them. Several relatives and strangers took off through the woods and fields calling for him (and returning with lots of battle scars from the thorny plants they encountered). A couple of people drove their cars up and down the road to look. I felt so aimless, like I didn't even know what to do or where else to look. Another friend prayed with me, a few of my cousins were crying, complete strangers were offering words of encouragement. After a half hour or so of looking, we decided to call the police. They took his description and asked me a bunch of questions and told me local and state troopers would be on their way. They wanted me to print out a photo of Jesse before they got there, so I put a cousin to work on finding one online that we could use. I went out to talk to the police officer, and he asked all the kids if they had seen him, but none of them had anything very specific to add.

At this point I decided I needed to call Heath. I hadn't called him earlier because I didn't want to worry him over something I was sure would turn out to be nothing. But now I was thinking it might NOT turn out to be nothing. I went in the house and was just about to call him, when I heard voices shouting, "They found him!" I ran back outside and a man I didn't even know was carrying Jesse to me. He and my uncle had found him in the grass behind the shed. Several people had looked there several times, but hadn't seen him. He was crying (probably because of all the commotion and people yelling his name), and missing his shoes, but he wasn't hurt or anything. Just then the state police showed up. I felt bad having had them all come out for nothing, but of course I was mostly just relieved to have Jesse back! And I'm glad to know that the police were there for us if we'd really needed them.

After Jesse calmed down I was able to talk to him. And comparing notes between him and Ethan, here's the best that I can figure out of what happened: The boys had been jumping on the trampoline with the other kids, which is why he had his shoes off. Then they'd decided to play hide and seek (Ethan only remembered this after the fact of course). Jesse hid in the bushes behind the shed, and meanwhile Ethan got sidetracked by some other friends and started doing something else. Jesse, being over tired from staying up late and the weekend's festivities, fell asleep in the bushes, for what must've been close to an hour. Something awoke him (maybe a bug bite, because he said something pinched his arm), and he crawled out of the bushes. I think he must've woken up disoriented and hearing 50 people calling his name, and must've been afraid and started crying instead of coming out. By 10 minutes after all this he was totally back to himself, running around with the kids, eating food, playing with the balloons, and totally oblivious to all the stress he had caused. But I, for the rest of the evening, could not relax a bit. Every 5 seconds I was counting my kids and couldn't focus on anything else. After all the adrenaline of the event subsided, it left me absolutely exhausted.

When we got back to my other aunt and uncle's house and put the kids to bed, I told Ethan and Jesse the new rules for hide-and-seek. 1) No sleeping while hiding! 2) If you hear a grown-up calling your name, the game is over, and you must come out, and 3) If you are the seeker, YOU MAY NOT QUIT THE GAME UNTIL YOU FIND THE HIDER! I do have to admit though that Jesse is definitely the champion when it comes to hiding, that's for sure!

Looking back it's almost comical that he was about 20 feet from the house the whole time, right next to where several people had walked, while we were all panicking. Actually, no, I take that back. It's not comical yet. Maybe a few months from now it will be, but right now it's too recent, and my heart starts beating faster just remembering it.

After I'd calmed down enough I did call Heath and was very glad to be giving him good news instead of bad. I can tell you I have never been so scared in my life. And I have never been so thankful to see my children, and so grateful for the safety God has given them thus far in life. And I am so thankful for the many family, friends, and complete strangers, who offered support, prayer, time, and effort for my little boy. Even though he wasn't really in any danger this whole time, he certainly could've been. I am so very thankful to each of you who helped. And, God, thank You. Thank You for the caring, self-sacrificing people you place in my life. Thank You for my children. As much as I complain about them sometimes and gripe about the difficulties of parenting, they are priceless gifts, and I am so grateful for every moment You've given me with them.

To every parent reading this: Go hug your kids! And next time they want to play hide-and-seek, make sure they know the rules! Or better yet, just let them play lawn darts or something less stressful like that. ;-)

Homestudy Progress

Well, yesterday I mailed off the documents for our homestudy. Yippee! We would've had them in a few weeks ago, except Heath's doctor couldn't give him an appointment until the last week of June, and THEN the doctor's staff mailed us the form WITHOUT FILLING IT OUT! I mailed it back with a very sweet letter explaining how our adoption agency is just so picky that they won't accept the form unless the questions are answered and the doctor actually signs it. Imagine someone being so picky!

So, anyway, we got that back and added it to the stack of other documents and off they went by certified mail yesterday morning. As soon as the agency receives them (assuming there aren't any problems), we can then schedule our meeting with the social worker. Then she'll write up our homestudy, and then we can apply with USCIS for permission to adopt again.

The first homestudy took 5 months for the whole process. So far this one's been about 2 and 1/2 months. Not sure how long it'll take to finish, but we don't have to do the well-water test and the fire inspection over again; both of those things held up the process a lot last time. So maybe this one will end up being a little quicker. Not that I don't have plenty to keep me busy in the meantime though! I used to believe people who said the first child is the biggest shock, and by the third you barely even notice. I no longer think that way. I think each child exponentially multiplies the workload. I mean the first kid is a big change to your lives, but manageable. The second child more than doubles the difficulty because not only do you have another child, but you now have interaction between the children which you never had to deal with before. The third child (at least in our case) turns everything that had become normal in the family totally upsidedown and forces a "new normal" upon everyone. The fourth child . . . well, let's just hope I live through it to describe it on a future post!

So why are we risking our sanity to have another child? Well, it all comes down to that little glimmer of hope that shows up from time to time. The hope that says, "Someday I will get to sleep and wake up according to my own schedule. Someday I will get to read an entire book with no interruptions. Someday my house will stay clean for longer than 10 minutes at a time. Someday it won't sound like herds of elephants coming down the stairs. Someday our children will act like they really love each other. Someday our children will appreciate their parents' hard work on their behalf. Someday all the blood, sweat, and tears will pay off in a job well done."

While these days of raising young children might be hard, they are worth it. I know that's true, and yet I need to work on enjoying them NOW because I know that one day I'll remember this time and wish I could go back again . . . someday.

Tabitha's Thumb

Tabitha's thumb(s) before surgery


They really wrapped her up thoroughly!


This is what it looked like when we "unwrapped" it a week later.


Then she wore just a small bandage for the next few weeks.


Now here is her hand one month after surgery!

Praise the Lord for making our bodies so amazing! I'm astounded at how our bodies heal themselves and how easily Tabitha has recovered from both of the surgeries she's had since we've had her.

21st Century . . . Here We Come!!!!

You remember that sound . . . you know . . . several quick beeps at different pitches, followed by a hum and then a high-pitched squeal. Well, maybe you don't remember that sound, but it's one I've known all too well over the past 10 years. And I am ecstatic to announce that, Lord willing, I WILL NEVER HEAR THE SOUND OF A DIAL-UP MODEM CONNECTING AGAIN!!!

Yes, we have officially joined the 21st century and are now members of the high-speed world! We couldn't get cable or DSL at our house, and sattelite is unreliable because of the trees. So we've been making do with dial-up all this time. But, no more. We now have a Sprint Mobile Broadband thingy plugged into our computer, and it is OH so nice.

It's amazing how fast the blog loaded this morning. It was so quick I could even play around with different templates and pictures and change the whole look! And I even uploaded a picture. I'm used to going out to lunch or cleaning the entire house while waiting for a picture to upload, but today . . . I just clicked, watched, and there it was! Amazing.

I can now do things at home instead of having to go to the library! I can download those ridiculously huge email attachments some of you send without it taking half my day! I can see you tube videos! I can pay bills and manage my piano studio website and research things and update my blog and get "full-featured" email and see websites with all the pictures instead of little X's and click on links and send e-cards and so much more....and still have time left over for living life in the real world! Ahhhh, it's a wonderful feeling.

But now I'd better get off the internet and go break up the fight going on in the living room. I guess even high-speed can't solve every problem.

Our Next "Vacation"

I thought our only vacation this summer would be our one-day beach trip. But it turns out we'll be taking another one to . . . Cincinnati. OK, so it's not really a vacation. We need to take Tabitha to the Colorectal Center at Cincinnati Children's Hospital. It's the only place in the world that does what they do. We want to have her checked out just to make sure everything was done well and nothing was overlooked in her surgeries in China. And we also need to participate in their bowel management program. Tabitha's still in diapers and having lots of constipation/diarrhea issues, which is extremely unpleasant for all of us. So the goal of their program is first, to establish whether or not she should have bowel control (many people born with her birth defects do not), and then to figure out what to do about it. If tests show that she should have bowel control, then it can be managed with diet and laxatives, and they'll teach us how to do that. If not, then we'll have to do daily enemas. I am certainly hoping we don't have to do that, and yet even that would be better than what we deal with now!

Right now the Colorectal Center staff is working with our insurance company to get this approved. Please pray that they approve it, and soon. They can't schedule us for sure until that is worked out, but we're tentatively going there in the end of August. We'll be there for almost 2 weeks (outpatient with daily x-rays), so we do plan to make it into somewhat of a vacation. We'll visit the Creation Museum and some friends and maybe a couple other things too. And hopefully we'll come back with a new-and-improved digestive system for Tabitha! =)