Todd

Todd is a little boy that my parents have had as a foster child for the past two years.  They got him when he was first released from the hospital.  He's Native American, from the Omaha Tribe.  Apart from brief visits with his birth parents, my parents are the only parents he's ever known.  

My siblings are the same people he knows as his siblings, and his home is with them.  My own kids jokingly refer to him as "Uncle Todd."  =)

He has brought so much laughter and joy to my parents and my brothers and sisters still living there.  He's brought a new sense of youthfulness and fun to my dad, and filled my mom's days with what she loves most--taking care of little ones.  

Unfortunately, since my parents are not from the Tribe, they are not allowed to adopt him, though they would in a heartbeat.  They've known this all along, and yet the "system" has done great injustice to everyone involved.  For two years, the people in charge have said they would find an Indian family to be his foster or adoptive parents.  So several times a family was presented, they'd think Todd would be moving away, and then that family wouldn't work out for some reason, and he'd stay longer with my parents.  Of course, all this time he was growing older and becoming more attached.  My parents had been hoping to get permanent guardianship even though they couldn't adopt, and that did look hopeful for awhile.  

But now a family has been found.  A family from the Tribe.  My parents met them, and they do seem to be a good family, and Todd should have a good life with them.  But it angers me that this process has taken two years.  I'm angry that because of politics a child's life has been toyed with like this.  I'm grieved for a little boy who is being taken away from the only family he knows, who can't possibly understand why at his young age.  And  I'm grieved for my parents who are losing a child.  While they knew this was to be temporary, that didn't at all lessen the love they have for Todd or the whole-hearted way they have cared for him these past two years.  They are very selfless people to even do foster care at all, and to have Todd as their son for two years and then have to let him go has to be heartbreaking.  My siblings that live in Omaha have also embraced him and come to love him as part of the family.  Even from here in Maryland I'm so saddened by the thought that he won't be there next time we go to visit.  

While we trust in God's plan for Todd's life, it's so hard to see how all this can be for the good.  But, Mom and Dad, I know Todd is richer for the time he has spent with you.  I know firsthand what a blessing it is to have you as parents, even if it was only for his first couple years.  And I pray that as he goes on to a new chapter of life, he will always carry with him the loving foundation he started with.  

We'll miss you, Little Toddy.

Happy Birthday, Rayanna!

Rayanna turned one this week!  It stinks not being able to be with her to celebrate, but we did have a cake and some gifts sent to her.  I don't think she was all that thrilled about the cake, but at least the day had a little something special for her.  Gotta love the outfit and birthday crown.  =)

Happy Birthday, Sweetheart!  We can't wait to meet you!

Frustrated

After my last post I realized I haven't been keeping this blog updated about how the bowel management program has been going for Tabitha.  So for those who want to know the details of our lives, and for the other IA moms reading this for medical reasons, I wanted to post an update.  (It's not a real pleasant one, so don't feel obligated to read it!)

When I wrote from Cincinnati everything was going well, and I thought "We're going home, no more diapers, I'll get used to this enema thing, and all will be well!  Yay!"  And it was. . . . for a couple weeks.  But then she started to have accidents.  For the past 3 weeks we've been having problems, and Tabitha's been back in diapers.  We've been emailing back and forth with the nurse at the colorectal center, getting x-rays to check for constipation, adjusting the enema dosage, and becoming very frustrated!  (Well, that last part is just me.....Tabitha and Heath are fine.  But I am anything BUT!)

We're going to try another adjustment tomorrow, and we're supposed to feed her lots of yogurt/pro-biotics, and hopefully get this under control.  It's just so frustrating because I thought our Cincinnati trip was the answer and we weren't going to have to deal with this anymore.  But, it seems like ever since deciding to adopt Tabitha, I keep learning more as we go along, and most of what I learn just makes it worse.  Ignorance sure was bliss.  I have to admit, it's definitely better than it was before bowel management.  She no longer has constant leakage and the foul smell that followed her everywhere.  Now it's just occasional accidents.  But since we don't know when those accidents will happen, she has to wear diapers, and we always have to be prepared.

If she does get to have surgery next month, that will be great, but it will also mean re-doing all this enema stuff to find what works for her new anatomy.  I feel like her medical needs are overshadowing everything else in our lives right now.  I spend hours online chatting and researching all her various ailments, in addition to the daily enemas, cathing, doctors appointments, and other things that cause me stress.  Today started with her x-ray, then her speech therapy, and then spending the entire afternoon at Johns Hopkins (2 hours of driving, 1.5 hours in the waiting room, 1 hour in the doctors office).  Fortunately Heath was home today because of the rain and SNOW (yes, snow, but that's for another gripe session), so he helped out with a lot of the day's stuff.  But all that, plus the fact that she might end up with a temporary colostomy after the surgery is just not making me feel real positive right now.  I could definitely use some help with my attitude.  Overall it's been a good week, but today I'm just really discouraged about it all.

Sorry to write such a negative post, but I want to keep my blog "real", and that's how I'm feeling today.  Hopefully a good night's sleep will help.

On the positive side, Tabitha is pretty oblivious to all this.  She's not bothered by the diapers, handles the enemas and catheters fine, and thinks going to the doctor is a fun "bye bye" trip.  So if Mama could just stop pouting and have a good attitude like my daughter, we'd be doing pretty well!

Prayer for Medical Stuff

I don't think I've posted any of the latest information about Tabitha's medical plans.  Back in February when we were at Cincinnati Children's Hospital, I posted that they wanted to do her next surgery in the summer.  Well, it turns out they actually have an opening in May!  This would be perfect because we could get the surgery over with and have plenty of time for recuperation before we leave for China.  So, we are tentatively scheduled for her surgery to be on May 16th.  HOWEVER, they're still waiting on insurance approval.  Last time insurance delayed us for 6 months.  We're hoping that since they already approved it once, this time they'll say OK without all the hassle.  Please pray with us for that to happen.  The hospital financial person said they should probably hear from the insurance company around the first week of April.  So just pray that it's approved and we can go in May.

We're also praying for wisdom on who goes with Tabitha and who stays here.  Lots to think about with Heath's work, and mine and the boys' activities.  It'll be another long stay, probably close to 2 weeks again.

And please be praying for Tabitha.  This surgery will be pretty intense, and the recovery will be a lot more involved than her other surgeries have been.

Thanks!

New Babies!

No....we haven't adopted early or anything.  We have baby CHICKS!  Heath's sister Amanda was kind enough to give us eggs to raise, and yesterday they started hatching!  We've been studying birds in science this year, so this was a very fitting experiment.  I'd been praying we'd have at least a few of the 18 hatch, and I was worried they might not.  (I tend to kill every plant I touch, so I was hoping I wouldn't have the same effect on chickens.)  Anyway, so far 7 of them have hatched.  And if you've never seen anything hatch out of an egg, you should!  It's quite an amazing example of God's creation!  They are quite cute, and the kids and Heath and I are really enjoying them.  We're only going to keep them for a couple of weeks, as I'm not ready for full-blown chicken raising yet.  But this has definitely been a fascinating experience!  Thanks, Amanda!  =)

(See my facebook page for a video of one of them hatching.)

Wonderful Weekend!

This weekend has been one of the best I've had in a long time!  For one, the weather has been phenomenal!  Spring started today, but the beautiful weather started Friday.  Bright and sunny, warm and wonderful!

Friday the boys showed up in the living room in their swimsuits ready for a dip in the stream.  They had a blast, despite the fact that it was still technically winter!

 Saturday morning I went to a clothing swap at a church in Frederick and got all this stuff absolutely FREE!!

Saturday afternoon we spent at a friend's house, with the kids playing in their stream and all of us enjoying more gorgeous weather.  (Sorry...no pictures from that.)

Today after church we had a family outing.  We got free Italian Ice at "The Meadows" custard shop, and then we spent a couple hours at our property.  We walked through the woods, the boys found the perfect spot for their future fort, Tabitha "helped" Mommy over all the tough spots along the path, Heath built rock bridges to get us across the streams, and we all enjoyed dreaming of our future home there.  It was such a nice, relaxing family day, and I really had a great time!

I guess I'm a simple sort of person, but this is the kind of weekend that means the most to me.  Enjoying life's simple pleasures with my family.  I feel truly refreshed!

"Every good and perfect gift is from above and comes down from the Father . . . " James 1:17

Update on Rayanna!

A few days ago we ordered some gifts and a birthday cake to be sent to Rayanna because she turns one next week!  We also sent some family pictures and some questions for the orphanage staff to answer.  Here's what we found out (some phrasing is strange after coming through translation, but you can get the basic idea):

Her referral included some comments on her medical report which questioned her hearing and mental capabilities.  There were no details or explanation, but it was enough to get her put on the special needs list.  Her caretakers' response when we asked about this was, "We never made the medical exam on her intelligence.  Her hearing is good.  Nannies said she is as lovely and smart as other kids."  A couple sentences translated from Chinese isn't much to go on so we'll try to be prepared for anything, but that is very encouraging!


Does she say any words yet?  She starts to make some sounds she pronounce and studying to talk.


What is her personality like?  She is introvert and quiet.  She is a little scare to the strangers.  This sounds like quite the opposite of our little Tabitha.  Maybe they'll balance each other out and get along great!


What are her favorite foods?  Her mainly food is the baby formula mix with rice cereals. 


The orphanage director said that they'll arrange the birthday party for her with the cake we sent.  We also ordered a disposable camera, so hopefully they'll take a lot of pictures!

It's been almost 3 weeks since our pre-approval, and it's supposed to take anywhere from 1-3 months from PA to get to the next step, our Letter of Acceptance.  Could be coming soon!