One Year

Well, I'm a bit late writing this, but late is better than never, right?

Tabitha's adoption became official one year ago on October 26th. What a year! In many ways, this has been the hardest year of my life, so much harder than I ever expected. Many of my feelings have been expressed by Lori King in her blog post called "My Yoke is Easy", which I read last week and ask you to read if you'd like to hear about some of the emotional struggles adoption has brought into my life this past year. Even though her circumstances are different (they adopted a 13-year-old), most of the emotions she describes are just like mine.

Why has it been so difficult? After all, we've fulfilled my life-long dream of adopting a child, and we have a beautiful, precious little girl in our family and the blessing of knowing we've drastically changed her life. But we have also dealt with a host of issues that weren't part of that life-long dream: severe tantrums, aggression, rebellion, medical-issues galore, annoying habits, social problems, unintelligible speech . . . and the unexpected ugliness all this brought out in me.

But even though this year has been hard, I know that God is using it for good. He is constantly teaching me more about Himself. As our adoptive Parent He must have many of the same issues to deal with. He sacrificed so much to adopt us, and yet we so often fail to live in a way that shows gratitude to Him. Even though we fail Him over and over again, He forgives and continues to love us. By seeing how hard it is to be a human adoptive parent, it helps me have a deeper appreciation for God's love in spiritually adopting us.

Not only is God using adoption to teach me about Himself, but (much to my dismay) He's using it to teach me about myself. The social worker's write-ups make us sound like such wonderful parents who do such a great job with our kids. But I know that's not always the case. While Heath has handled the challenges wonderfully and supported me immensely, this year has shown me that I am not the loving, compassionate, patient person I'd like to think I am. I am so far from being the kind of parent that God is. I fail my children every single day, and adoption has brought to the surface a lot of ugly attitudes that had been more hidden before. Marriage brought some of them out, having biological children brought out a whole lot more, and now adopting a child has really revealed the ugly selfishness that hides in my heart.

While this has been a difficult year, and is still not perfect, I know that good is coming out of it. By revealing my sinful heart, God has made me more dependent on Him than ever before. I wish I could just learn to depend on Him and move onto the next lesson! But I keep thinking I've got it down and forget how utterly dependent I am on God's strength, God's love, God's patience. I don't think the goal here is to learn how to conquer the sins in my life; I think the goal is to learn that I cannot conquer these sins in my own power. I need to learn to rely constantly on His power, or I will continue to fail. I'm still figuring out exactly what that means and how to do it, but He's made it clear to me that that's what I need to be doing. This quote explains it more poetically:

Before He furnishes the abundant supply, we must first be made conscious of our emptiness, before he gives strength, we must be made to feel our weakness. Slow, painfully slow, are we to learn this lesson; and slower still to own our nothingness and take the place of helplessness before the Mighty One. ~A.W. Pink

So that's what God's been doing in my life through this year. Tabitha, too, has had a year full of growth. She's gone from being an orphan to a beloved daughter and sister (and granddaughter, niece, cousin, etc.) She's gotten new citizenship, acclimated to a radically different culture, and learned to understand the basics of a totally foreign language. She's had 3 surgeries and several exams and is on the road toward even more health improvements. She's learned colors and numbers and loves to do "school." She's overcome her fear of dogs and baby dolls and now greatly enjoys both. She's learning how to build relationships with parents, brothers, other family, and friends. She's learned to ride a tricycle, bounce and catch a ball, do puzzles, color, and play games. She's had a year full of accomplishments. She's a friendly, cheerful, fun little girl, with a sensitive heart and loads of potential. And I'm the one who gets to be her mom as she develops that potential, the one who gets to lead and guide her and watch her grow up. What a privilege that is!

As we start our second year with Tabitha, I look forward to the work God will continue to do in my life and all that He'll be doing in Tabitha's life and in our family. Even with all the difficulties of this year, and maybe partially because of them, Tabitha is truly a blessing to our family, and we are so thankful to have her.

Unit 1 Complete!

This year we've started using the Tapestry of Grace curriculum, which I am really loving! We just finished the first unit, which covered Creation through the Israelites' wandering in the wilderness. Here are several pictures of our projects. It's been really fun! =)

Here's Ethan with his pyramid birthday cake. It was even filled with treasure inside! (Mom, thanks for the idea. Heath, thanks for sculpting and frosting!)

Ethan with his 10 Commandments tablets, made of salt dough.

we made a model of the Tabernacle

unleavened bread (It was gross.)

Mesopotamian jewelry

a ziggurat

salt dough map

New Home for MVCC!

I just realized I never posted about our new church building! Our church (Mountain View Community Church) started meeting in our new building last month, and today was the "Grand Opening." I know it's just a building and not the most important part of a church, but after 13 years of meeting in a high school it sure is nice to have a place of our own. Here are some pictures I took on our last Sunday meeting at the school:

(the kids posing in their old "nursery", where they all started their church days. They look thrilled, don't they?)

Heath and the rest of the praise team during

rehearsal on our last day at the school.

And here are a few shots taken inside our new building!

practicing in the new auditorium

the lobby

(Coffee bar built by Heath. Pretty nice, huh?) =)

We're all very thankful for our new "home" and looking forward to the many ways God will use this building for His glory!

Quick Adoption(s) Update

This past Monday we had our final post-placement interview for Tabitha. We just have to get the report and mail that in along with some pictures, her certificate of citizenship, and her immunization records. Then, we are totally and completely finished with all the adoption requirements for her! October 25th will be one year since we met her; the 26th was the day she legally became ours.

On the "adoption #2" journey, we received confirmation that USCIS received our I-800A application, and we just got our appointment time for getting our fingerprints done next month. (Yes, it appears that the US government doesn't have the sophisticated equipment to save the (electronically-stored-on-a-computer) prints we did two years ago, so we have to redo them.) We're hoping Heath HAS fingerprints by then. His hands are always pretty beat up, and right now I don't think they could get any prints off of them! But, assuming we successfully have our fingerprints taken, once that's done we just sit back and wait for them to process it and tell us we're approved to "adopt a child from a convention country."

Then, we gather up all our papers and a bunch of money (which we're praying we have by then!) and mail it off to China. At that point, we'll be able to start checking the special needs list and hopefully be matched with a child soon thereafter.

Ethan is 7!

Yesterday was Ethan's 7th birthday. It's hard to believe it's been that long. And yet, I can hardly remember life without him! What was it like to not be a mom? What was it like to have no little ones depending on me? What on earth did I do all day?!?!

Ethan has had a year full of growth. Physically, he's still taller than just about everyone his age. But more than that, he's grown in character and personality. He's no longer a little kid who you can "talk over" without him catching on; now I can have real conversations with him about all kinds of things. He's gotten over much of his shyness (though not all of it), and is making new friends and talking to people he doesn't know that well. He's started 1st grade, is learning to read, and is discovering so much about the world and about God. He's developed a new hobby to enjoy with his Granddad (much to Bambi's dismay). He's also completed many art and building projects and loves to create. In fact, he can take just about any piece of trash and turn it into a necessary part of one of his creations. He's creative, industrious, tender-hearted, and (don't tell him I said this, but) quite cute.

We're so thankful for you, Ethan, and we love you very much. Happy Birthday!

Field Trip!

Today, as a field trip for our study of the Israelites in the wilderness, we drove up to Lancaster, PA, and visited the Tabernacle! The Mennonite information center has a full-scale replica of the tabernacle, complete with the furniture pieces and even a moving priest and burning incense. It was pretty neat! It was more lecture-style than I'd hoped, so I'm not sure the kids were that thrilled (especially the younger two), but it was still neat to see. We weren't allowed to take pictures of the real thing, but I thought this painting showed a nice overall view of what it may have looked like thousands of years ago.


After the Tabernacle, we visited my grandparents who live in the same city. It was great to see them and get a picture of them with their GREAT grandchildren! Thanks for having us, Grandmom & Grandpop!

Driving Under the Influence . . . .

Today as I was driving down the highway I saw one of those electronic signs that usually announces traffic backups and other announcements. Today it said:

Don't drive distracted.

No texting while driving. No hand-held devices.

It's the law.

Really? It is?! Yes. I looked it up, and as of today it really is a new law here in Maryland. OK, so I admit I don't stay current with things like this very well, but I certainly don't recall being given the opportunity to vote on this!

Now I'll be the first to say that texting while driving is dangerous and foolish, and I have never, ever done it. (I've never, ever sent a text either....but that's beside the point.) My issue is with the "no hand-held devices" thing. How many people really use two hands to hold the steering wheel? I mean, ever since the invention of power steering it's not really that difficult to control with one hand. If I'm on the phone and need two hands, I'll sacrifice the phone call for safety, but it's rare to really need both hands. But let's say that we really do need two hands to be as safe as possible. What's next? Will it be illegal to eat while driving? How about to change the radio station? Turn up the air condition? Roll down the windows? What if I have an itch? Why don't they just make a device that your car won't start until your hands are locked into "10 and 2" position, and your head is inserted into a contraption that controls eye movement. (Just in case you decide to look at the GPS or the heat controls or something.)

Then we have those who claim it's not the actual act of holding the phone that's dangerous, it's the mental activity going on. Well, if that's true we'd better outlaw talking at all, or maybe just about certain topics that require certain levels of brain activity. Probably shouldn't listen to the radio either...well, maybe music but certainly not talk radio. Books on tape might be OK if they're Dr. Seuss or something, but anything beyond a certain comprehension level needs to be outlawed in case it takes one's mind off of driving. While we're at it, we should really probably outlaw allowing children to ride in cars because they are definitely a distraction. But when I'm driving alone is when I actually have a chance to really think or pray. But that should probably be outlawed too, as a mental distraction.

My point is this: yes, there are activities that are downright dangerous and should be illegal. In my opinion a single case of drunk driving is grounds for losing your license for at least a decade; texting or watching videos makes it impossible to focus visually as well as needed; driving without brake lights is dangerous, and so forth. I'm all for safety on the roads. But where's the limit? What if one person can eat, drink, or talk on the phone without losing concentration, but another person can't concentrate if she's even listening to her favorite song on the radio? How does Big Brother think that he knows each individual well enough to make some arbitrary rule like this?

Why not have more cops out there looking for evidence of poor driving? Is someone driving way over/under the speed limit without a clue to what's going on around their car? If so THAT is a reason to intervene--whether or not the person is using a cell phone. I guess the reason this irritates me so much (besides the fact that government interference always irritates me) is that the car is one of the only times I have to make phone calls! At home there's so much to do and difficult to find time and quiet to make phone calls. Not to mention all the times I need to call someone to let them know a timeframe or how to get somewhere. Yes, I know I survived without a cell phone until I was 25, and my parents and grandparents lived most of their lives without these things. But I guess I've gotten used to the convenience. And, as evidenced by the fact that I still use the same cell phone I got when I was 25, I don't invest money in the latest technologies such as hands-free devices. (Plus I don't want people thinking I'm insane and talking to myself! Enough people think I'm crazy as it is!)

Individuals may decide that talking on the phone while driving does prevent them from driving safely. If that's the case, then by all means, they should NOT do it! I just don't think that's a decision to be made from "on high" and passed down to the rest of us.

Oh well. They never said I couldn't BLOG while driving. (heh heh heh)

JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!