Why I Love Hospitals

There are so many perks about staying in a hospital that you just can't find anywhere else!

Where else can you have no responsibilities for any decisions?  When to eat, when to pee, when to poop, when to take medicine . . . it's all decided for you!

Where else do people care so much about you that they're willing to check on you every hour, even if you're sound asleep?  They even go so far as to stagger their visits just to make sure nothing comes up in between the hourly visits!

Where else can you feel so important that you have strangers visiting your living space in hordes, even if you're not dressed and it's 6 am?  Where else do people feel so comfortable with your relationship that they don't even need to call first?

Where else do experts make all the decisions for you, and you don't even have to worry about whether or not you understand?

Where else can you not even worry about trash and laundry, knowing they will be emptied even in the middle of the night?

Where else do new people take 12-hour shifts for the chance to get to know you, and then, as soon as you're comfortable with them, they graciously give the next person a turn?

Where else can you wear a beautiful gown every day and not even worry about what it does or doesn't cover?

Where else does someone care enough to keep track of every thing that goes into and comes out of your body?

Where else can you hear an alarm every time your breathing changes or you move around?

Where else can you be sure not to oversleep, by having someone rearrange you every so often and give you the assurance that you're still breathing and your heart's still beating?

Where else do visitors put themselves on a nocturnal schedule, just so you can have a perky peppy voice come and dispel the darkness at 2 am?

Where else (besides jail) do you have to wait for permission to leave?

Ahhh....I just love hospitals.